speedier than light
I found something faster than the speed of light. It's my five year old... Under certain circumstances.
We were hiking in the Hoh Rainforrest and we got to the river which is about 3/4 into the larger loop. We had about a half a mile to finish up. When we started out Sam (my 5 year old daughter) lit out kinda quick and just got faster.
and faster.
She didn't seem scared. But she was moving. I had all my camera gear and I had to keep up with her because she managed to drop the rest of the pack. She just seemed determined.
Faster. I had to ask her to slow down.
I was watching the gps and she was approaching the speed of light as we hit the last bridge. OK she was averaging 3miles per hour. Which yes for those of you literalists who don't realize that I exagerate for effect sometimes will realize that this is in fact much slower than the speed of light. In my defence I never used the word "literally". Except for just then when I was literally using it to say that I never said literally. Shit. I just used it. But it was correct. Literally correct. fuck.
OK So she was figuratively moving at the speed of light.
When we got back to the car I asked why she was going so fast. Her reply: "M&M's daddy"
She knew there were M&M's in the car with her name on them. We told her that if she did the whole hike without complaining she would achive the rank of expert junior hiker and be entitled to the M&M's and when she realized we were getting close to being done she motivated. Over motivated. I guess at some level at worked as she never once complained, but it worked too well as I really sorta missed the last 1/4 of the hike as I was just following her at the speed of light with respect to a 5 year old who has chocolate at the end of the trail....
We were hiking in the Hoh Rainforrest and we got to the river which is about 3/4 into the larger loop. We had about a half a mile to finish up. When we started out Sam (my 5 year old daughter) lit out kinda quick and just got faster.
and faster.
She didn't seem scared. But she was moving. I had all my camera gear and I had to keep up with her because she managed to drop the rest of the pack. She just seemed determined.
Faster. I had to ask her to slow down.
I was watching the gps and she was approaching the speed of light as we hit the last bridge. OK she was averaging 3miles per hour. Which yes for those of you literalists who don't realize that I exagerate for effect sometimes will realize that this is in fact much slower than the speed of light. In my defence I never used the word "literally". Except for just then when I was literally using it to say that I never said literally. Shit. I just used it. But it was correct. Literally correct. fuck.
OK So she was figuratively moving at the speed of light.
When we got back to the car I asked why she was going so fast. Her reply: "M&M's daddy"
She knew there were M&M's in the car with her name on them. We told her that if she did the whole hike without complaining she would achive the rank of expert junior hiker and be entitled to the M&M's and when she realized we were getting close to being done she motivated. Over motivated. I guess at some level at worked as she never once complained, but it worked too well as I really sorta missed the last 1/4 of the hike as I was just following her at the speed of light with respect to a 5 year old who has chocolate at the end of the trail....
posted by J.R. at 10:12 AM
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