Why do I *love* to ride the bus
I always have loved the bus. I’ve just started taking it again to work regularly and it’s just fun. I sorta get a charge out of it and the question at hand is why.
It’s not how fast the bus is and its way faster than driving even with the wait. It isn’t the comfy seats and nice warm enviornment. It isn’t that I can actually sleep on my way to work cause the driver has a speaker and likes to say “Microsoft” right before my stop. At least that’s what I think he says. Truthfully he could be saying anything at all and I wouldn’t know it. It isn’t looking down at all those single person vehicles as we figuratively fly down the highway and think “moron”(see how I used that word? Figuratively? We don’t LITERALLY fly anywhere, it’s a fucking bus not a plane. Stop saying “literally” when you don’t fucking mean it. Promise me. Right now. No more literally say figureatively it will freak people out *and* its correct.) Those are all nice. It gets better.
At first glance one would think that its not convienent. You lose flexiblity The buses are late. It’s cold or wet or just plain nasty to wait at the stops.
Fact is none of that’s really an issue. Not for me anyway because everything is relative.
I get something more than just getting to leave my car behind when I ride the bus. I get a serious sense of self reliance. It means no matter what happens, if I can scrounge $3.00 (it’s actually free, but I’m including the “I lost my pass” case in my no matter what happens) then I can get my sorry ass home.
It just so happens that I loved taking the bus from the get go. Looking back, it was a skill that neither one of my parents possesed. I took a city bus every day in 7th grade across quite a few miles just to get my ass whooped on a regular basis. I was down with the bus. It was the least of my worries. Except for the day there was a bit of a riot on the bus. Did I mention I got a lot of ass whoopins? The kids in the back charged the driver who with lightning like super hero reactions… ran… right off the bus and proceeded to lock us all on until the cops came. As soon as that cop opened the door and came on the bus I ducked under his arm and off the bus. I walked my ass home and still survived. I guess I rekindle that spirit of being able to handle myself in an urban situation even though there isn’t any more threat to my personal well being.
Incidentally that was the same time I learned to go hours without going to the bathroom. When you go somewhere 5 out of 7 days a week and you get your ass whooped on lots of those days you learn very quickly that being in small spaces with a single exit is just a *bad* idea. So the bathroom was off limits. So by the time I got home my eyes were floating on most days. Hey you gotta drink your chocolate milk. So when I locked myself out of the house the first step was not to jimmy the front door with my bus pass. It was not to pick the lock on the back door which had like 2 tumblers. It was not to open the garage window so I could get a ladder to play 2nd story man into my bedroom. Those were all good second steps where the first step was to piss on the back of the garage. Then move on to the entry of choice.
So why do I love taking the bus? Because I can and most don’t. That’s the main thing. I can. Its better for the enviornment and I meet lots of interesting looking people.
I have a theory. If you can’t figure out who is the most unattractive person on your bus, its probably you...
It’s not how fast the bus is and its way faster than driving even with the wait. It isn’t the comfy seats and nice warm enviornment. It isn’t that I can actually sleep on my way to work cause the driver has a speaker and likes to say “Microsoft” right before my stop. At least that’s what I think he says. Truthfully he could be saying anything at all and I wouldn’t know it. It isn’t looking down at all those single person vehicles as we figuratively fly down the highway and think “moron”(see how I used that word? Figuratively? We don’t LITERALLY fly anywhere, it’s a fucking bus not a plane. Stop saying “literally” when you don’t fucking mean it. Promise me. Right now. No more literally say figureatively it will freak people out *and* its correct.) Those are all nice. It gets better.
At first glance one would think that its not convienent. You lose flexiblity The buses are late. It’s cold or wet or just plain nasty to wait at the stops.
Fact is none of that’s really an issue. Not for me anyway because everything is relative.
I get something more than just getting to leave my car behind when I ride the bus. I get a serious sense of self reliance. It means no matter what happens, if I can scrounge $3.00 (it’s actually free, but I’m including the “I lost my pass” case in my no matter what happens) then I can get my sorry ass home.
It just so happens that I loved taking the bus from the get go. Looking back, it was a skill that neither one of my parents possesed. I took a city bus every day in 7th grade across quite a few miles just to get my ass whooped on a regular basis. I was down with the bus. It was the least of my worries. Except for the day there was a bit of a riot on the bus. Did I mention I got a lot of ass whoopins? The kids in the back charged the driver who with lightning like super hero reactions… ran… right off the bus and proceeded to lock us all on until the cops came. As soon as that cop opened the door and came on the bus I ducked under his arm and off the bus. I walked my ass home and still survived. I guess I rekindle that spirit of being able to handle myself in an urban situation even though there isn’t any more threat to my personal well being.
Incidentally that was the same time I learned to go hours without going to the bathroom. When you go somewhere 5 out of 7 days a week and you get your ass whooped on lots of those days you learn very quickly that being in small spaces with a single exit is just a *bad* idea. So the bathroom was off limits. So by the time I got home my eyes were floating on most days. Hey you gotta drink your chocolate milk. So when I locked myself out of the house the first step was not to jimmy the front door with my bus pass. It was not to pick the lock on the back door which had like 2 tumblers. It was not to open the garage window so I could get a ladder to play 2nd story man into my bedroom. Those were all good second steps where the first step was to piss on the back of the garage. Then move on to the entry of choice.
So why do I love taking the bus? Because I can and most don’t. That’s the main thing. I can. Its better for the enviornment and I meet lots of interesting looking people.
I have a theory. If you can’t figure out who is the most unattractive person on your bus, its probably you...
posted by J.R. at 3:41 PM
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