Books one shouldn't have
This isn't some book burning censorship post so get your shorts out of that square knot you just tied. I'm a free speech kinda guy. 1st amendment all the way. Separation of church and state too Like Carlin said "Either one of these institutions fuck you up bad enough on their own, what would happen if we mixed them?". Guns too, I don't have one, but you should be able to have a gun if you want one. Like I always say "Arm all the passengers and you'll have a safe flight". Anyway I'm totally sidetracked.
How about "Books I shouldn't have" by JR lets see... "Atheists cook book" no wait that something different... shit. OK I'm an "individual contributor" which is PC for "Grunt" or "line worker" or "Shit man on DA totem" IC. Not a manger. should be NIC. NOT in charge.
And then I know a high powered dev manager who's decisions change the world on a daily basis (ok that was a major suck up so ignore that Kurt) his name is Kurt. ahem. What's his trade off? No code. He doesn't write in C# or C++ no no. He writes in word. He writes in outlook. He's in meetings. Presumably making those world changing decisions while I do my NIC stuff. Its great they go to meetings so I don't have to. I like it. I contribute (does that mean that management does not in fact contribute? you decide.)
On his shelf are books that sometimes I steal. I steal them because I need them and to order something around here and let the cost beast loose you need a fucking court order. Oh yes stall 3 is out of paper! Can't you use the company newsletter again? We're out of those too and ask the guys on Jack Ass; They give you paper cuts. Damn that was potty humor. Sonofabitch. oh well Tammy's not here to stop me so fuck it.
He has books like IL Assembler for the Common Runtime. How often is he writing code let alone debugging low level lines of code? These are manager placebo books also known as Manager Placebo Books which we will shorten for this entry as MPB's. I have a friend who wrote one. Its called Optimizing Power PC. It's an assembly language reference book. They really did design the title and cover so it would look good on a managers book shelf. MCB's are usually very thick. You only have them around as talismans against assembly level bugs IC's barely crack them unless they are really hard up for something to read in the bathroom (more potty humor, shame on me)
So why am I writing about MPB's? Because I got me a ICPB. (Sounds like something that might explode if put in too hot a room) Thats an Individual Contributor Placebo Book. It's called Breakthrough Technology Project Management. It has a very prominent place on my shelf and looks like I know some random ass management shit of which I do not. Next thing you know I'll have Compensating Human Resources Through Stock Options and Inside Information for the Politically Correct. (That was ghost written by Martha Stewart for the ImClone corp...) Have I read Break Through Technology Project Management? um.. no.
Of course the ultimate Placebo Book for me would be... the APB (Atheist Placebo Book) ...you can guess it.... right? Would I read it? Um... NO
Word Up (that's atheist for Amen)
How about "Books I shouldn't have" by JR lets see... "Atheists cook book" no wait that something different... shit. OK I'm an "individual contributor" which is PC for "Grunt" or "line worker" or "Shit man on DA totem" IC. Not a manger. should be NIC. NOT in charge.
And then I know a high powered dev manager who's decisions change the world on a daily basis (ok that was a major suck up so ignore that Kurt) his name is Kurt. ahem. What's his trade off? No code. He doesn't write in C# or C++ no no. He writes in word. He writes in outlook. He's in meetings. Presumably making those world changing decisions while I do my NIC stuff. Its great they go to meetings so I don't have to. I like it. I contribute (does that mean that management does not in fact contribute? you decide.)
On his shelf are books that sometimes I steal. I steal them because I need them and to order something around here and let the cost beast loose you need a fucking court order. Oh yes stall 3 is out of paper! Can't you use the company newsletter again? We're out of those too and ask the guys on Jack Ass; They give you paper cuts. Damn that was potty humor. Sonofabitch. oh well Tammy's not here to stop me so fuck it.
He has books like IL Assembler for the Common Runtime. How often is he writing code let alone debugging low level lines of code? These are manager placebo books also known as Manager Placebo Books which we will shorten for this entry as MPB's. I have a friend who wrote one. Its called Optimizing Power PC. It's an assembly language reference book. They really did design the title and cover so it would look good on a managers book shelf. MCB's are usually very thick. You only have them around as talismans against assembly level bugs IC's barely crack them unless they are really hard up for something to read in the bathroom (more potty humor, shame on me)
So why am I writing about MPB's? Because I got me a ICPB. (Sounds like something that might explode if put in too hot a room) Thats an Individual Contributor Placebo Book. It's called Breakthrough Technology Project Management. It has a very prominent place on my shelf and looks like I know some random ass management shit of which I do not. Next thing you know I'll have Compensating Human Resources Through Stock Options and Inside Information for the Politically Correct. (That was ghost written by Martha Stewart for the ImClone corp...) Have I read Break Through Technology Project Management? um.. no.
Of course the ultimate Placebo Book for me would be... the APB (Atheist Placebo Book) ...you can guess it.... right? Would I read it? Um... NO
Word Up (that's atheist for Amen)
posted by J.R. at 3:22 PM
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