Then and Now

Then:
Print your spec. Go to the copy room, find the printer jammed and your at the end of the queue. Wait for a while and get your spec.

Now:
Add your printer very easily. Print your spec. Go to the copy room. Find that the printer which holds and entire forrest of paper is out of paper. Do the right thing and add paper. Add more paper, jeez the thing holds literally 4000 pages. I wasn't quite the boy scout and only added 2000 pieces of paper. Watch while someone else's book prints. Wait. Wait some more. Talk to other people who are waiting in line after you... wait more... finally put the guy's book with his little cover pager (remember his alias for future use) finally get your 2 page spec out...

this MSFT history moment has been brought to you by eurest sandwiches... where at least you think you know what goes into it...

It was the first day of the end of my life...

It's nicer to say it like this "It was the first day of the rest of my life" but you can look at life like a stream of data and at some unknown point you get EOF.

OK it didn't feel like the end of my life. That makes me sound sad. I was not. In fact I was quite happy. That being said.

I sat through a 1/2 day of NEO which stands for New Employee orientation. The guy on my right was cool. The guy on my left will forever be known as 'prick bastard sales guy with stick up ass' for this reason...

He and I talked about the fact that we were both returning to work here from having left. He went and did a DOT-Gone and I did... DOT-Nothing (see I work at MSFT I keep saying dot this and dot that) I said that I did nothing for 3 years, I told him that i had been burned out. He said "I never got burned out, I always managed my time well"... really? I'm a time management superfreak. this whack is telling me why i got burned out?

Fuck you.

Manged not to pick the right company though didja?

For the record I got burned out because I had a huge task that while we thought it was very important and turned out to be a great product, the management of our particular team didn't think it was important...

The only other thing of note was the fact that being a returning employee was a lot more difficult that being a new employee I didn't get my card key, I didn't have a parking permit, I couldn't sign up for benifits etc. I was a 1/2 employee for about 3 days. I fine now...

You know you've been away from MSFT too long when

You start applying the pricipals of parallel processing to the laundry...

You know most people would leave it at that, but not me, I'm over the top.

I started doing the laundry on a regular basis and every time we ended up going up to bed and it being covered with clothes that needed put away. At first I thought it was because I was lazy and didn't notice the laundry quick enough. That in fact is and was true. Can I make myself remember better? Well I tried writing it down, but no. Still had a mound of socks at 11:00pm when it was time for bed.

So I started thinking what really throws this process off? One word. Towels. They take for fucking ever to dry. Why? Because they are super absorbant. (If you've read my entry on shopping for toilet paper you know what I'm talking about here). So they cause a stall in the pipe while the dryer works on them. Tammy insists and rightly so that we use low heat for the clothes, its better for them. Just ask the guy who replaced the heating element in the dryer. He's a fuckin' expert. He said, "ya low heat... thats better for your clothes".

So we almost always have a load of whites and two loads of color. So the colors used to take two maybe three runs through the dryer to get done. The towels were just... well... super absorbant...so I back loaded them. I was so fucking proud of myself I tried my new system. Hold all towels and sheets and shit til the end. I was so proud when I "tested" my system and it worked. But being the good engineer I tested again a couple more times. I was so proud. read that pathetic. I'll say it again. I used all my mental powers on speeding up our laundry by like 20 mins or so.

I had to go back to work.

had to...

oh ya and the laundry still sits cause i forget it and we have to put it away at 11:00pm...

Yet another really bad progress meter

This one is really bad.

I wrote about how bad progress meters are in my old blog. The directX 9.0a update download progress meter runs smoothly from left to right and seems really accurate. It tries to give you an estimate down to the second. Why? But the really bad part is it redraws the text portion of the progress (how many seconds remain) enough times per second (I estimate about 60 times a second) to make my monitor look like its flickering, AND its still not accurate.

This seems like a case where the Dev should have run the PM over for a stupid idea, or in all fairness the otherway. When will people stop thinking that they can predict the future? You can't. So Stop. You always look stupid when you try. Stop.

Right uri? (um you also always look stupid when you use your psycic powers to bend the flat wear. "I have super natural powers..." "Watch out now, i'm gonna fuck your spoon". Are you angry with someone so you bend their spoon? Makes no sense at all. It's the same thing.)

don't sue me.

Last Dance

So today I took the kids to dance class. I reminded them this was the last week for Daddy to take them. They were very nice about it, but I seriously doubt they will be impacted by Tammy taking them to dance.

For old time sake (and to buy a coke) I walked to the other side where I saw "sea food" talking about something or other bullshit... amazing... she hasn't changed a bit, I'm glad I stay on my side (aside for the occasional need to hit up the vending machine) and she stays on hers...

Last shopping trip

I did what could be my last weekday morning shopping trip for quite a while. I told my check out dude that I wouldn't be spilling any more cookies on his shift. Tammy says she's going to do the shopping, but we'll see how bad her mood is after, I could still do the shopping, it just has to be after the kids go to bed...

Sides what else would I have to blog about if I stop shopping?

You know your old when...

So I was setting the alarm last night and some Beatles tunes were on. Soon I realized I was tuned to an 'oldies' station. I changed it. Fuck that. So I hear some 80's stuff going on. Pretty good stuff. Hadn't heard it in a long time (the point of this post).

So it's bad enough that I like what comes across the oldies station. But on the station I actually listen to they refer to getting into the 80's Time Machine. Excuse me? You have to get in a mythical H.G. Wells machine to hear Def Leopard? WTF? I mean really. I can go to a fucking record store. Wait Records are out? Oh they are CD's now? Fuck that. They are still records cause the fucking band had to record the god damn music. Has nothing to do with weather it's pressed on vinyl or digitally encoded onto a 5" optical media disc.

"CD's ... ah yes... another cruel trick the record companies played on the ignorant" -- Jack Black while playing "Barry" in High Fidelity

Then and Now

A look back at MSFT 1995 vs. 2003

Then: lavished with house hunt gifts and first class tickets. A brunch at a swank place by the locks...

Now: Lunch at Burger Master where the new boss' wife actually steals some of my frys...

This MSFT history minute has been brought you to you by the letter M ... M as in no More free stuff.

Just A little History

In January of 1995 I started my job at Microsoft as a developer. I worked in various groups for just over five years and I left in May of 2000. I spent a bunch of time with my family. I studied (informally) photography and created a business around it. In March and April of 2003 I got bored. Between my wife (Tammy) substitute teaching and both of my children in school full time I started getting really bored.

So I got an email from a friend of mine who had returned to MSFT asking if I was interested in a full time position. I said I'd check it out. Now as it turned out that particular job was not a good fit, but I did interview with a couple of groups who seemed to be a better fit. I had so much fun interviewing and being assured I would get my own office (not doubled) I took it. I start 4/28/2003. The uh.. money offer... didn't hurt either... thats for damn sure.

So I had this other blog while I was 'away' you can see it in the link on the left. I'm still working on an updated picture of myself. ie with glasses and less hair... doh. I decided to create a new blog all together as its kinda a new chapter or era in my life. I plan on having very similar stories as "In Motion.." and my love for effectiveness has not been lost. In fact I feel I have to be even more effective because I don't plan to stop doing photography as I add on this full time work load.

I will also still probly rag on CNN quick polls. (Should also be known as "stupid fucking question of the day that no regular human being is qualified to answer and then see meaningless results"). My various antics on and off campus.

I would like to emphasize that these are my thoughts and opinions and I go off with the language (see above) all the time. So read at your own god damn mutherfucking easily offended risk!