CD updates

For those of you from the old blog (see the link at the side) I had made some mix CD's. I wanted to update the fact that I'm up to CMF ver 1.4. It's just like software it takes a few revs to get it right. I've even got my carpool listening to it! Nothing beats a carpool who is:

on time

listens to music you like.

laughes at your stupid jokes. (You can read this as: I tell jokes and she doesn't boot me out of the car)

LMF is up to 1.3 and is sounding pretty good. Needs a little work.

oh and RMF is still... in the microwave.

Note to any and all copyright police folks out there: I own all the cds that I mix these to. I do really. really. I swear. I'm serious. Really.

Home Depot Spam

So I'm in home depot with Max. I know I'm shopping. Its the most interaction I get with strangers I think.

Dude walks up to me and offers me a free home security system. I think Home Depot has some serious rules cause as soon as I said "not interested" he was gone. It was as if he was a home depot adt holographic infomercial sales man that turned off with voice recognition when you said to it "God dammit mutherfucker I'm shopping here with my 8 year old get the fuck away from me, I don't want his sensitive ears hearing about crime and security, so why dont' you go play hideandgofuckyourself." He was just gone. Just like that. Go figure.

Actually I got the word "not" of "not interested" out and he had vanished without a trace. gone. Maybe he was fired instantly because I said "not". I can't imagine any store would let real live spammer's loose on their shoppers... must be some serious coin they are paying them to let them "give" you a free security system.

Slide Blind

You ever have to sit through many many power point presentations?

I have. I call the affliction slide blind. I thought it really struck me yesterday when I just couldn't see the slides on the screen anymore. Like I'd gone 100% slide blind. But no the monitor was just refusing to put his deck up there. Thats a PPSDR (Power Point Slide Deck Rejection)

If you are gonna have a huge deck of slides.. wait by the way since when did slides come in a deck? They used to come in a carosel. Isn't that fun? round and round in the carosel. You go around. fun. Now you "Get through the deck" it sounds like work. Fuck it is work. Where am I?

If you're gonna have a big deck, (it's ok to read that aloud and laugh, really, its ok, go ahead.) which most presenters do have big decks (That might be why they are the ones giving the talk, I dunno) I have a little favor to ask. I know power point does this automagicly (when you have a big deck; the rest of us don't need this) give a progress meter. Thats right I'm asking for a powerpoint progress meter for how far we are through this fucking deck.

Just a simple #2 of 23,213 slides. OK now thats a big deck. Watch out for that. Maybe its a compensation thing. They aren't really slides are they? I dunno what they are. But if you put a bunch of them together you have yourself one huge deck.... so tell me where we are so I know when to wake up, K?

Books one shouldn't have

This isn't some book burning censorship post so get your shorts out of that square knot you just tied. I'm a free speech kinda guy. 1st amendment all the way. Separation of church and state too Like Carlin said "Either one of these institutions fuck you up bad enough on their own, what would happen if we mixed them?". Guns too, I don't have one, but you should be able to have a gun if you want one. Like I always say "Arm all the passengers and you'll have a safe flight". Anyway I'm totally sidetracked.

How about "Books I shouldn't have" by JR lets see... "Atheists cook book" no wait that something different... shit. OK I'm an "individual contributor" which is PC for "Grunt" or "line worker" or "Shit man on DA totem" IC. Not a manger. should be NIC. NOT in charge.

And then I know a high powered dev manager who's decisions change the world on a daily basis (ok that was a major suck up so ignore that Kurt) his name is Kurt. ahem. What's his trade off? No code. He doesn't write in C# or C++ no no. He writes in word. He writes in outlook. He's in meetings. Presumably making those world changing decisions while I do my NIC stuff. Its great they go to meetings so I don't have to. I like it. I contribute (does that mean that management does not in fact contribute? you decide.)

On his shelf are books that sometimes I steal. I steal them because I need them and to order something around here and let the cost beast loose you need a fucking court order. Oh yes stall 3 is out of paper! Can't you use the company newsletter again? We're out of those too and ask the guys on Jack Ass; They give you paper cuts. Damn that was potty humor. Sonofabitch. oh well Tammy's not here to stop me so fuck it.

He has books like IL Assembler for the Common Runtime. How often is he writing code let alone debugging low level lines of code? These are manager placebo books also known as Manager Placebo Books which we will shorten for this entry as MPB's. I have a friend who wrote one. Its called Optimizing Power PC. It's an assembly language reference book. They really did design the title and cover so it would look good on a managers book shelf. MCB's are usually very thick. You only have them around as talismans against assembly level bugs IC's barely crack them unless they are really hard up for something to read in the bathroom (more potty humor, shame on me)

So why am I writing about MPB's? Because I got me a ICPB. (Sounds like something that might explode if put in too hot a room) Thats an Individual Contributor Placebo Book. It's called Breakthrough Technology Project Management. It has a very prominent place on my shelf and looks like I know some random ass management shit of which I do not. Next thing you know I'll have Compensating Human Resources Through Stock Options and Inside Information for the Politically Correct. (That was ghost written by Martha Stewart for the ImClone corp...) Have I read Break Through Technology Project Management? um.. no.

Of course the ultimate Placebo Book for me would be... the APB (Atheist Placebo Book) ...you can guess it.... right? Would I read it? Um... NO

Word Up (that's atheist for Amen)

five o clock in the fucking morning

I got a fucking call on my cell phone at 5:00 am on a sunday.

Is it wake the dead month?

wtf?

it was an ann arbor, MI number. Fuckers... I knew I went to OSU for a reason.

what about a movie?

I think maybe Jon's goal of making a short crazy "CMF" movie could work...

JR

Cut Update

My finger is going to cost about $200.00 if I had just cut it after I went back to work....