6lbs of candy coated goodness

6 years at my job last sunday. On Tuesday I observed a whacky tradition this group has. When you hit n years you bring in n lbs of something sweet and bad for you.

I did M&M's... Black & White...

Let me tell you I have a new unit of measure for M&M's (M&M Mars people listen up this could be a new marketing strategy for you) it's a fuck load. One FL of M&M's is 6lbs. No less, but a little more is ok. I say that because they don't sell the things by the pound! You have add ounces up til you get the right amount. So I went a little over. I was standing there in Fred Myer with Max going 6x6 is 36 carry the three... 23 plus 11 is 34 so about 2lbs... this and this ... wait we need some krispys oh man it comes in a 13oz package... metrics people... metrics... new math is now old math come on even drug dealers use metrics!

So Marketing M&M's you should be able to buy a fuck load and it's a bit over 6lbs...

I put them in a bowl and in my usual style did a physics experiment where i put the almonds (read bug fuck off m&m's) in the bottom and all the plain (speaking of marketing those bastards don't call them plain anymore, they are "milk chocolate" m&m's... fuckers... they are PLAIN... thats what they are call them that... sorry) so big fuck off M&M's in the bottom and little bastard milk chocolate M&M's at the top... Shake... Watch the big fuck off M&M's come right up. So someone was whining out side my office about no almond (big fuck off) M&M's and I told him to shake the bowl... please people... 2nd law of thermodynamics be damned you want some order... shake the fucking bowl and eat your almond (big fuck off) M&M.

what is the point of all this? I have no idea. I had a point when I started and got off on some big fuck off 6lb FL tangent...

So I've been here 6 years. I started in 1/95. Those of you who can subtract feel that there is a small error here I'm quite sure. You also probably converted my 6.2lbs of M&M's (or 1 FL) into Kilograms and are right now powdering some "milk chocolate" M&M's in order to make a nice line and snort them (You've probably tried snorting the Almond (big fuck off) M&M's and hurt your nose) I just like to say snort. Snort.

So 6 years, but really it's been 9 years since I started... how can that be? read the old blog at left and see that my eye started twitching uncontrollably and no I didn't snort anything to make that happen so I had to leave for 3 years. so 9-3 is six.

My job lets me keep my seniority for some things. One thing I don't give a shit about is a window office. I'm light averse and I hide in the dark. The other is vacations. Boo ya... but this year is not a mile stone for that so all I have to show for it isn't a broken a clock (that was 5 years) or a whole month of vacation (7) all I have is about 3/4 of a pound of M&M's because people around here can eat their share of candy coated goodness....