coke: when will they learn?
OK i was in driver's Ed when new coke hit the streets. I remember my driving teacher who used to slam her ring on the dash of our brown K car again and again yelling "today" at us when we drove to slow and slamming on her brake whenever we crossed the line of too fast or too close... to like another car or a mailbox or something.
I know thats when new coke came out because I would take the 4 down into town past my High School (it was summer) into a worse part of town, which in retrospect was about the same as it's hard to get much rougher than where Walnut Hills is. Then I took on of the miriad of cross town busses to Withrow High which was in fact a much rougher Highschool than mine.
I would do my driver's ed simulator time which for those of you know up to speed on 80's driving simulation technology was a movie and a desk with a steering wheel bolted to it and some pedals that didn't do much on the floor. I'm sure it's way different now... unless you go to Withrow then I'm sure it's a movie and a set of desks with steering wheels bolted to them and pedals that don't do much. Then we would ride in the car and then for like 15 mins we'd drive in the car. When it was all over I would do the bus thing in reverse get home and get drive to work with my dad in the car in our yellow amc gremlin.
I left out an imporant step between getting out of class and getting back on the bus. I would sneak into the building. You can read sneak as "walk without telling anyone what I was doing" I don't want you to think it was some serious covert operation, but I didn't tell anyone what I was up to. I would then go to the teacher's lounge and with the lights out I would approach the coke machine. It hadn't been loaded since summer started but since there were no teachers consuming it the machine still had stock. I would put my 2 quarters in and get back a coke can that didn't say 'new' on it. I drank it usually pretty fast. It was my only life line during the misguided summer of 'new coke'
Oh there were lots of theories about new coke. Some of them said that new coke was just diet coke with sugar instead of nutrisweet. Or was it saccarine back then still? Some said they had stolen the Pepsi recipe and replicated. This never made sense to me because Pepsi was #2. I think they were just fucking with something that wasn't broken. When coke classic appeard, to be renamed cleverly "coke" in later years, we all breathed a sigh of relief and went back to our lives.
I flunked the driving test in that gremlin once and had to go back and take manuverablity (the cone course) again. Luckily the second time I didn't have the examiner known to me only as "prick" instead I had "nice old guy" who passed me. I still can't parallel park... Coke was back however!
So today Coke is launching yet another product thats trying to ride the low carb craze called C2 or some such bullshit. I say "hello" you have a low carb product already... um it's called diet coke for christ sake... At least they didn't yank Coke from the market.
If you really want to cut the carbs from coke in 1/2 do what I'm doing now at work. Drink 1/2 the coke. Replace the other half with water... cheaper too. Just a lil tip.
I know thats when new coke came out because I would take the 4 down into town past my High School (it was summer) into a worse part of town, which in retrospect was about the same as it's hard to get much rougher than where Walnut Hills is. Then I took on of the miriad of cross town busses to Withrow High which was in fact a much rougher Highschool than mine.
I would do my driver's ed simulator time which for those of you know up to speed on 80's driving simulation technology was a movie and a desk with a steering wheel bolted to it and some pedals that didn't do much on the floor. I'm sure it's way different now... unless you go to Withrow then I'm sure it's a movie and a set of desks with steering wheels bolted to them and pedals that don't do much. Then we would ride in the car and then for like 15 mins we'd drive in the car. When it was all over I would do the bus thing in reverse get home and get drive to work with my dad in the car in our yellow amc gremlin.
I left out an imporant step between getting out of class and getting back on the bus. I would sneak into the building. You can read sneak as "walk without telling anyone what I was doing" I don't want you to think it was some serious covert operation, but I didn't tell anyone what I was up to. I would then go to the teacher's lounge and with the lights out I would approach the coke machine. It hadn't been loaded since summer started but since there were no teachers consuming it the machine still had stock. I would put my 2 quarters in and get back a coke can that didn't say 'new' on it. I drank it usually pretty fast. It was my only life line during the misguided summer of 'new coke'
Oh there were lots of theories about new coke. Some of them said that new coke was just diet coke with sugar instead of nutrisweet. Or was it saccarine back then still? Some said they had stolen the Pepsi recipe and replicated. This never made sense to me because Pepsi was #2. I think they were just fucking with something that wasn't broken. When coke classic appeard, to be renamed cleverly "coke" in later years, we all breathed a sigh of relief and went back to our lives.
I flunked the driving test in that gremlin once and had to go back and take manuverablity (the cone course) again. Luckily the second time I didn't have the examiner known to me only as "prick" instead I had "nice old guy" who passed me. I still can't parallel park... Coke was back however!
So today Coke is launching yet another product thats trying to ride the low carb craze called C2 or some such bullshit. I say "hello" you have a low carb product already... um it's called diet coke for christ sake... At least they didn't yank Coke from the market.
If you really want to cut the carbs from coke in 1/2 do what I'm doing now at work. Drink 1/2 the coke. Replace the other half with water... cheaper too. Just a lil tip.
posted by J.R. at 10:05 AM
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