Ford unveils new features....
I've mentioned before that Tammy has a new Ford Expedition. It's the one that got busted into. Yes we're over that except we have to go back and get the door fixed again I think and likely one of the wires got cut in the removal causing one of the power outlets to be useless. Magnolia is going to check that out. This was not a tangent. new car.
It's hot. It's really fucking hot. OK I'm from Ohio and now I'm required by law to go on and on about how 'not' hot this hot is because it's a dry heat and these people don't know heat. No. fuck you if you think that 100 is hot anywhere anyhow. I mean this is fucking hot people, I don't care if sweating works as it should. It's still hot. I think it's 88 right now in our coolest room. Thats two eights, not one.
So I'm hot and I'm driving a new car. You know where this is going now?
This monster has mutherfuckingcoolingseats. Cooling seats. Cool. You've heard of heated seats... well this is cooling. OK so perfect day to try this out, right. Tammy brought the car down so I could pick the kids up at camp. We're headed back to work and we try out the cooling seats.
Nothing. OK so fine whatever. Move on to futzing with the car in other fun ways. My fave is to program random way points into the newly restored gps and laugh like a monkey when I pick the icon for them. I'm easily distracted.
A strange sensation came over me. Well part of me. If you must know, it was my ass. It felt really weird. I couldn't figure it out. I thought maybe I had grown a giant sweatgland that was working overtime where the sun doesn't shine.
Is my butt wet? I squirmed and it felt really weird.
I remember oh... cooling seat.
So when one small part of you (your ass) is cooler than the rest it feels wet.
Oh thats how I want to feel while tooling down the road... Hi there. I have a wet ass.
And not in a good way. Sitting by one's self in a truck it's not good to have a wet butt.
Are we clear on this?
Tammy and decided to give it a good chance and we ran the thing at full blast.
Did it feel cool? yes
Did it feel nice? no.
it feels like you sat in the bench right next to the waterfountain at the park after the ass hole ran it at full blast just to splatter the area and make the rest of the world wait for that cool or rather luke warm goodness on such a hot day.
Did I mention it's hot?
Is my butt wet?
It's hot. It's really fucking hot. OK I'm from Ohio and now I'm required by law to go on and on about how 'not' hot this hot is because it's a dry heat and these people don't know heat. No. fuck you if you think that 100 is hot anywhere anyhow. I mean this is fucking hot people, I don't care if sweating works as it should. It's still hot. I think it's 88 right now in our coolest room. Thats two eights, not one.
So I'm hot and I'm driving a new car. You know where this is going now?
This monster has mutherfuckingcoolingseats. Cooling seats. Cool. You've heard of heated seats... well this is cooling. OK so perfect day to try this out, right. Tammy brought the car down so I could pick the kids up at camp. We're headed back to work and we try out the cooling seats.
Nothing. OK so fine whatever. Move on to futzing with the car in other fun ways. My fave is to program random way points into the newly restored gps and laugh like a monkey when I pick the icon for them. I'm easily distracted.
A strange sensation came over me. Well part of me. If you must know, it was my ass. It felt really weird. I couldn't figure it out. I thought maybe I had grown a giant sweatgland that was working overtime where the sun doesn't shine.
Is my butt wet? I squirmed and it felt really weird.
I remember oh... cooling seat.
So when one small part of you (your ass) is cooler than the rest it feels wet.
Oh thats how I want to feel while tooling down the road... Hi there. I have a wet ass.
And not in a good way. Sitting by one's self in a truck it's not good to have a wet butt.
Are we clear on this?
Tammy and decided to give it a good chance and we ran the thing at full blast.
Did it feel cool? yes
Did it feel nice? no.
it feels like you sat in the bench right next to the waterfountain at the park after the ass hole ran it at full blast just to splatter the area and make the rest of the world wait for that cool or rather luke warm goodness on such a hot day.
Did I mention it's hot?
Is my butt wet?
posted by J.R. at 9:56 PM
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