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Cooking the Amish way.

Last night we had friends over for dinner and Deonn came over because she was in desperate need of having her pointing device removed from her bios. Doesn't that sound obscene? It's not. Her track pad died and she needed it disabled. I told her when the devices start falling off like that... the end is near.

I was grilling. Our friends brought steak so the only thing to do there is cook out. Dammmit.

So I wanted to try something a bit different. I made a lot of coals. More than usual. This is where my challenges began. I let the coals spread out too much and with the wind the way it was (gusty) some of them did not get a good start... so I made a pyramid out of them and I did what we all love to do, but you're not supposed to do. I relit them with fluid. I know I know that's a bad idea. Which is by the way why I didn't tell Tammy til after the fact and I had a "now that's a fire" fire going...

I got a cement tile and put the number of coals on it called for by Woody woodruff of my Dutch oven cook book. Is Woody a Dutch name? I dunno, because I don't speak... oh you get the idea. and I put my Dutch oven (cast iron) on top of that I put more coals. It's all good.

I made potato/onion/vege thing that came out really good and I had coals left over so I made a peach upside down cake thing. It's canned peaches with yellow cake mix on top.

When I brought it in, (it was quite good) I had it on the hook and it's kind of a pot so Deonn said I was Amish. I'm not. I drove to work this morning. But I do cook on a Dutch oven. Deonn doesn't go outside so she doesn't know that regular people (as opposed to the Amish special forces) also cook on fires occasionally.

Where did I screw up you ask? These stories often have me ... well... learning new things.

So I was doing this cooking on my deck. It's made of wood. Get it wood? deck.

So I have a cement tile on it. Hmm rock. This will protect the wood from the fire... right?




well mostly.

So I cooked for a long time on the rock on the wood. I baked a fucking cake ok?

So at the end when I went to take care of the coals I used some oven mits to pick up the rock. See the physics of the situation came through when my gloves got warm fast as I dumped the coals back into the grill. reall warm. The rock is good at holding heat. Lots of heat. so I put it down on another similar rock. I then hosed it off... the water boiled and hissed off of the rock that had been on the deck. The deck was hot to the touch too. So I watered that down as well. The cement tile immediately dried and i put my water on it for more vapor. Joy.

Short result: I have a brown square on my deck now...

What's the Amish word for "Doh?"