Oh we got seat...

heat.

I have to apologise in advance for my writing style (boy that sounds like even have a fucking style of which I do not) will become a bit more choppy. I'm reading Sock by Penn Jillette. His writing style in this piece has a certain rythm to it that is unlike other stuff I've read. I like it. I like so it will become part of me in some sick way. Right? We try to keep what we like and we ditch what we hate. We're just like that. See? It's a bit choppy.

We got seat heat. My beetle has fancy ass seats. They aren't just leather fancy ass. They are sport winged fancy ass. Oh I got seat. It was the main selling point of the car. It's sporty. It's not cute. I mean it. Not cute. It's silver and it has seat.

Those seats have wires in them. I got seat. Wires have current. When I set a dial to anything other than 0 I assume there is current. Oh we have resistance and current so we get heat.

Hot seat.

The thing is it might have current at 2 or 3 or even 4 but you wouldn't fucking know it. Certainly your butt doesn't know it when it's early in the morning and the switch is set on 3. Nada. Nothing. Maybe a little ass directed EMAG radiation but thats it. Heat? Not detectable by my ass on a cold day.

Five is another story. Five is off the fucking hook. Five will fry you ass and the eggs in your lap before you know it. I don't know if something is wrong or not with them, but five is heat. Oh we got seat. Seat heat. Fancy ass number 5 seat heat.

Too hot? Turn it to 4. 4 is good when you're hot.

So is zero. Zero is like 4. No heat? Nope cold ass.

5: Seat Heat.

What's next a six that has a microwave that heats you from the inside out?

I think the designers were upgrading for the next year and they went, "Our seat heat only has one and off. Our competition has 3 settins so we need more."

From there they adjusted the switch to say 0,1,2,3,4 which map to off and 5 which is really fucking on. Fucking seat heat. Owch.

This is mostly about nothing.

Mostly.

Seat heat.