When you can't chew anything else...
There are always chicken strips.
Ah the precooked fried brown goodness. A side of tater tots and you're good to go.
You ask, "But J.R. Doesn't eating chicken strips get monotonous after a while?"
I say, "yes"... Wait no.
See the essence of variation can come from the dipping sauce and the type of coke you put next to injection molded fake basket weaved textured cafeteria tray. Don't you think it's odd that cafeteria rhymes with diphtheria? I think the constitutional framers were onto something with the whole pursuit of happiness. It means you can pursue food outside the cafeteria. But if you can't chew anything anyway then fuck it.
So you vary the dipping sauces. Today I have catsup. No it isn't Heinz as they are a conservative cafeteria. Honey Mustard sounds like it would be a serious contradiction but so do chocolate covered pretzels. They are good as so is Honey Mustard. I want to invent a sauce that's "hot honey mustard" that will really freak people out. (Please do not comment with a bunch of links to hot honey mustard, k? Let me have my bubble. I can't chew I need something to cling to.) The be all end all of dipping is in the 57 sauce. It took me forever to figure out that Heinz 57 sauce was named because they have 57 varieties and apparently they ran out of names before they ran out of flavors. Either that or 56 varieties that the family tried out also didn't carry Ohio. (OK that was stupid, but I like it so I'm leaving it in. Imagine the shit that I cut...) What was number 56 if that was the case?
Flavor Engineer right before 56 was conceived: I Know! I know for 56 we could do Dill and Tapioca in a rich mayo base. Who's with me?
Nobody in the board room answered and our poor Mr. 56 was fired before he could ever mix up his dipper. (That has such food inuendo that Mr. Sandler should be proud.)
sad.
Ah the precooked fried brown goodness. A side of tater tots and you're good to go.
You ask, "But J.R. Doesn't eating chicken strips get monotonous after a while?"
I say, "yes"... Wait no.
See the essence of variation can come from the dipping sauce and the type of coke you put next to injection molded fake basket weaved textured cafeteria tray. Don't you think it's odd that cafeteria rhymes with diphtheria? I think the constitutional framers were onto something with the whole pursuit of happiness. It means you can pursue food outside the cafeteria. But if you can't chew anything anyway then fuck it.
So you vary the dipping sauces. Today I have catsup. No it isn't Heinz as they are a conservative cafeteria. Honey Mustard sounds like it would be a serious contradiction but so do chocolate covered pretzels. They are good as so is Honey Mustard. I want to invent a sauce that's "hot honey mustard" that will really freak people out. (Please do not comment with a bunch of links to hot honey mustard, k? Let me have my bubble. I can't chew I need something to cling to.) The be all end all of dipping is in the 57 sauce. It took me forever to figure out that Heinz 57 sauce was named because they have 57 varieties and apparently they ran out of names before they ran out of flavors. Either that or 56 varieties that the family tried out also didn't carry Ohio. (OK that was stupid, but I like it so I'm leaving it in. Imagine the shit that I cut...) What was number 56 if that was the case?
Flavor Engineer right before 56 was conceived: I Know! I know for 56 we could do Dill and Tapioca in a rich mayo base. Who's with me?
Nobody in the board room answered and our poor Mr. 56 was fired before he could ever mix up his dipper. (That has such food inuendo that Mr. Sandler should be proud.)
sad.
posted by J.R. at 11:50 AM
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