Message in blogger...

I would like to post a feature request to a large computer manufacturer who made my iPod who shall remain nameless.

could you please give me some kind of mark as to where I was in a playlist? Or better yet the Album. That would be really cool. When I get to work I don't want to listen anymore to books anymore I want tunes to wake up too.

I call this "message in blog" communications. You just put a message in your blog addressed to someone in this case Apple Computer Inc. in CA and hope that they search for themselves and find it...

It could be worse. I could have tucked a note in a geo cache and tried to get it to go Cupertino...

Soft Snow... NOT

Ok so last night I was softening to the idea of skiing again. but... But... BUT

I went to some training this morning (where they had Krispy Kremes) and I saw a lady on crutches that looked like she was in a lot of pain.

She was right next to me when someone asked (ok so thats this is why I overheard someone else's conversation kinda disclaimer) how she'd been injured. she said she severed her achilies tendon skiing. I thought oh ya on the back side of some double black diamond named the wall at whistler or some such... she continued "I was trying to be 'good' on the bunny slope". so No.

This leads me back to the inescabable conclusion that going up a hill via a machine that will impart so much potential energy on you and strapping something (anything really) to your feet that really drops your coefficent of friction and then pointing these things down the hill so you go and then just keep turning to save you life. turn... turn... turn... turn or DIE... you must turn or die.

so no. I say it again.... NO.

Alliteration in the doughnut world

Krispy Kreme...

ah alliterationa and misspelling.

My dad worked there for like 3 or 4 weeks when I was a kid and jobs were tight. He also cut grass. I remember he used to pay me to vacuume parking lots. anyways he worked there.

I wonder things about this high calorie business success story.

1. Why are they so popular? When I lived in NC they were just the doughnut shop. Why are they a sensation now?

2. Why do people fall for the high margin ones? let's get this straight right now the glazed are for the tourists! Look at the cake cruellers people. Or the Jelly, or even the whipped creme (you have to spell that wrong in this case) with the cherry on top. My dad would never let me have one of those. Thinking back if he would have just let me try it one time I would have gone back to my cake crueller and chocolate milk. I still wonder why I coulnd't have one. I mean it's not like it was any less healthy than the other ones. which brings me to point 3.

3. do people know what makes them taste like that? lard folks. lard. worried about mad striken beef? screw that this is LARD... pure beef fat. mmmm mmmm good.

it's cake batter fried in lard... yum yum...

Now I have a new thing to say when things suck.

At least I'm not skiing!

I was at the orthodontist and and I had to get my impressions done. I thought they'd want me to do like Nixon "not a crook" or Dinero "You looking at me?" (oh i so can't do those). My voices are so much less sophisticated.

This was the fill your mouth with bad tasting goop and try to not gag when the lady shoved her fingers in there too to make sure there was enough pressure.

i said "wa waaa wa wa waaaaa" which what I was trying to say was "Well it's not so bad I could be trying to link my turns on a steep powder covered slope with an older gentleman named James yelling very encouraging things at me such as 'turn' "

#51 Going to the orthodontist
#52 Getting a filling

and the beat goes on.. Maybe I could do a sonny and cher impression... oh now that paints a picture....

Skiing

We skied yesterday.

My knee hurts.

I hated it.

So a little list of things I'd rather be doing than skiing. Not in any order.

1. seeing a musical
2. filling out a form for declaring sales tax with the state of Washington
3. listening to country music
4. listening to western music
5. listening to musical theater music (esp the really repetive happy stuff)
6. hurting myself (oh wait that is skiing)
7. Listening to an old man ramble on about physics and snow (fuck... skiing again!)
8. Waxing cars under the supervision of a little man from Okanowa.
9. Painting a fence under the same instructor
10. You guessed it ... sanding a deck with Mr. Miyagi yelling at me.... sand-a-deck...
11. Having the clap.
12. paper cuts... just about anywhere.
13. taking a bus to the ER whilst bleeding profusely (I've done this before you can trust me on this one)
14. shopping at any store, including Hallmark and/or yankee candle.
15. sitting through the thursday night show at any magic convention.
16. exercising (again i realize this is skiing.)
17. fixing a NOW bug at work with 3 PM's breathing down my neck
18. fixing a NOW bug at work with 3 testers breathing down my neck
19. debugging video card problems
20. 6 hours of code review over the phone to india. (yes you can take it from me)
21. going to an opera
22. going to a ballet (either way I get to sleep)
23. fixing a door knob
24. fixing a garage door opener button
25. listening to opera really loud (no sleeping here)
26. spending time in the midwest in the summer.
27. spending time in the midwest in the winter.
28. Draw snowflake cows (see below)
29. knock over a whole end cap display of shamrock shaped st. patrick's day cookies.
30. spend an indefinite amount of time in the mall without an WiFi connection.
40. wash out my garbage cans
41. selling my ski goggles on ebay
42. eating just about anything except mushrooms
43. try and do card tricks for drunk fucks.
44. stuck on the I 5
45. stuck on the 405
46. stuck on the 520 (bridge)
47. stuck on I90
48. stuck on I275 outside of Cincinnati
49. train my dog
50. eat the 'man' sauce at Dixies

Thats enough for now....

Illustrator bovine madness

It's been a week since I made this but I wanted to post it anyways. I've been doing projects with Illustrator to learn it. The project I was doing called for loading the chicken symbol but there was this cow there and since they have been getting bad press I thought I'd use that instead... so here ya go:

drinking numb

I had to go to the dentist today again. Shouldn't ignore decay in your mouth. Brain decay is fine, or maybe it's cause they haven't anything to fix it...

so I'm trying to eat lunch at my desk with 3/4 of my mouth online. I first had trouble with the chewing because I was losing food to my cheek. I couldn't find it again. I was chewing some food... I didn't swallow... It didn't fall out of mouth yet it's gone... oh wait there it is between my cheek and gum in the numb land...

Drinking a pop felt so weird. it was like I was half drinking it and I should be drewwling all over myself but i'm not...

6lbs of candy coated goodness

6 years at my job last sunday. On Tuesday I observed a whacky tradition this group has. When you hit n years you bring in n lbs of something sweet and bad for you.

I did M&M's... Black & White...

Let me tell you I have a new unit of measure for M&M's (M&M Mars people listen up this could be a new marketing strategy for you) it's a fuck load. One FL of M&M's is 6lbs. No less, but a little more is ok. I say that because they don't sell the things by the pound! You have add ounces up til you get the right amount. So I went a little over. I was standing there in Fred Myer with Max going 6x6 is 36 carry the three... 23 plus 11 is 34 so about 2lbs... this and this ... wait we need some krispys oh man it comes in a 13oz package... metrics people... metrics... new math is now old math come on even drug dealers use metrics!

So Marketing M&M's you should be able to buy a fuck load and it's a bit over 6lbs...

I put them in a bowl and in my usual style did a physics experiment where i put the almonds (read bug fuck off m&m's) in the bottom and all the plain (speaking of marketing those bastards don't call them plain anymore, they are "milk chocolate" m&m's... fuckers... they are PLAIN... thats what they are call them that... sorry) so big fuck off M&M's in the bottom and little bastard milk chocolate M&M's at the top... Shake... Watch the big fuck off M&M's come right up. So someone was whining out side my office about no almond (big fuck off) M&M's and I told him to shake the bowl... please people... 2nd law of thermodynamics be damned you want some order... shake the fucking bowl and eat your almond (big fuck off) M&M.

what is the point of all this? I have no idea. I had a point when I started and got off on some big fuck off 6lb FL tangent...

So I've been here 6 years. I started in 1/95. Those of you who can subtract feel that there is a small error here I'm quite sure. You also probably converted my 6.2lbs of M&M's (or 1 FL) into Kilograms and are right now powdering some "milk chocolate" M&M's in order to make a nice line and snort them (You've probably tried snorting the Almond (big fuck off) M&M's and hurt your nose) I just like to say snort. Snort.

So 6 years, but really it's been 9 years since I started... how can that be? read the old blog at left and see that my eye started twitching uncontrollably and no I didn't snort anything to make that happen so I had to leave for 3 years. so 9-3 is six.

My job lets me keep my seniority for some things. One thing I don't give a shit about is a window office. I'm light averse and I hide in the dark. The other is vacations. Boo ya... but this year is not a mile stone for that so all I have to show for it isn't a broken a clock (that was 5 years) or a whole month of vacation (7) all I have is about 3/4 of a pound of M&M's because people around here can eat their share of candy coated goodness....

Post Card from da mormons

I would scan the thing and post it but they'll sue me...

They ask me:

What is the purpose of life?
What is the true nature of god?
Can families be together forever?
Where do we go after this life?

All of this on mormon dot org.

boo ya

who knew... all that on a fuckin' website. It must be true.

It's a lovely post card really of some big ass temple in Salt Lake...

I bought myself a copier/scanner/fax machine... but it didn't come with a shredder... damn...

YAY deonn posted....

check out the links on the left...

Compu College

This is about software, so if you're looking for a laugh, read a different post or perhapps another author would suit you today... (that was yet another plug for deonn's blog)

I've been in the position lately to evaluate work from another company and some of their team is fresh out of college. This is a good thing, but I see some definite software trends in college graduates and I think I know why.

They are encouraged to hide bugs

Long term maintanability has nothing to do with them

On time wins every time.

First off when the grader looks at their work they often look at output or run the code depending on the class and if it 'seems' to work then by god it works. No worries that there are lots of band aids in the code to stop bugs before the symptoms hit. Code that checks some condition you're not expecting and just returns. "does nothing" when I click here is better than "crashes like a muther every time I click over there". This becomes a habit and they think they are coding defensively but in fact they are not.

number 2 at the end of ten or so weeks they are done with it. I mean done. Gone. nada mas. finito. or as in Mystery Men: "junk it!". So they aren't worried about having to add functionality to it. They make their class heirarchy with no thoughts of requirements changing because they won't. Why not? because the prof won't do that and besides after 10 weeks he's not your boss anymore. So simple and not flexible wins over a little more work up front everytime.

And finally letter C. C for complete on time broken is better than even a single day late. For more than one reason. A letter grade a day means miss it by two days and you get a C if it works perfectly. I learned quickly to hand that piece of shit in like it was a hot potato rather than sit on it and make it a little better. This also had the benifit of when the lab was due on monday (as most were as to maximise the weekend wreck) you could really enjoy 20 cent wing night at BW-3's.

Do I blame the student... um no. This is also just my personal experience and I went to a rather cheap and very large (read that "really fucking big" univeristy) OSU (and no that isn't in oaklahoma). It would be interesting to construct a class that that really addressed these points. Lots of kids would Get I's at first as they wouldn't be done and you know what? That's ok they have to finish. In the real world being a little late just means you keep working. Bugs would be graded harshly and hiding bugs would get you double points off. The funny thing is everybody who finishes gets an A. It an A or Fail kinda class. If you give up you fail. If you get the product done you get an A. Of course everyone will fail. Because the prof playing requirements god will just keep changing them. New features. More bugs... new features... more bugs... your college career in software engineering would go on for decades...

thats enough about that.

Come on Deonn... post something already....

Maybe your latest synopsis of a musical designed to drive me out of my gourd.

Dee Dee's blog

I gave Deonn a blog... I know it was sooo expensive... it was so much mooolah I'm going to have to go scab for darigold... no even I wouldn't do that...

you can find deonn here...

in the words of Sgt. Hulka of Bravo company (stripes)

I'm getting too old for this shit...

We had a new years eve party last night with Hay-Low and we were up late.

i old