Junk mail from down under...

Someone who remains nameless gave me a membership is an Australian Rules Football fan club. I'm actually quite grateful because despite the fact that I don't know a damn thing about the game. (That last sentence might earn me a membership in the AU rules football card of the month club so as to explain the rules and players to my rather ignorant self.) Anyways I have not a clue how this game works or who plays in it. It's so cool though to get the advertisements that they send. I mean a quick survey of my mail today leads me to the conclusion that the invitation to the sports man's lunch in Perth is by far the best one this month. It's either that or I can renew my AT&T service agreement for another year and get 200 extra minutes... um... I'll go for the footy any day.

Someday maybe I'll brave the line at the DMV and get my passport application together, but until then I'll just have to enjoy the footy from a far.

Thanks Chris, I really do appreciate the membership!

ah the weekend...

I had a rather interesting weekend. It started with some musical theater... "What the pho?" you say? Yes we went to see Deonn's production of Puss-n-boots... I know what you're thinking now and it's the same thing that shot down all the Public Service Announcements (PSA's) for it. But no it wasn't some kind of live musical inappropriate for children adult reviews... no no... this was ... well classic children's musical theater.

Why did I go? Well it was Deonn's opening and that's really why, but we got to bring the kids and leave them with Deonn for the night. We found out that Sam really likes Cheetos. Tammy and I got to spend some time together and we watched some Six Feet Under and went out for pizza. We didn't really want to do a big meal and we couldn't decide on a movie. So we kinda spaced which was fine. The kids got in a ton of swimming at Deonn's and then they were tired and actually slept in later than we did. How does this work? At home they are always up before 7am. No questions...

So we picked them up and we went for a geocache run. Geocaching is hiking taken to the most fun it could possibly be. I mean there is a puzzle (or puzzles) and trinkets! You can take some if you have something to leave as well... it's a nutty good sport. Just my speed too.

I love something that lets me spend money on technology. We went for this same Cache earlier in the week and we bailed about a 2/3 of the way in because my old gps was ghetto. No WAAS augmentation. If that's gibberish just say that it's ghetto and i needed a new one. Well two... did I say I love gadgets? These bad boys are the shit. (I don't know how to spell schiznit. That and despite popular belief i am (sorry to let you down) not hip.)

The dog just kicked ass on this little outing. He's a really good trail dog. I need to work with him on proximity. He runs ahead too far when we're on the move, but he sticks with us pretty close. The "find xx" command works great too. I can send him through the woods to Tammy without a worry. He just jets right to her. I've always wanted a dog this good. I just need to fine tune him a little about trail walking.

persistant vanilla

So my car still smells vanilla whenever it's been sitting for a while. I guess it's a good thing I didn't opt for "Cheap Stripper Perfume" as air 'freshener'... I think it's called: Syn-o-min.

Speaking of strippers... this is a great blog.

Jazz Pants

We went to the Bothell library last night to see the first summer program for kids. It was called HumanJazz.

This post isn't really about the performer. He starts off by saying that words can't describe what he does. I agree.

Part of his deal is mime. When did watching a mime become a fucking guessing game? Also when did it become OK for parents to sit idly by while their kids disrupt stuff? I'm glad I don't do Kid's magic. Shit. They moved around and the parents were as bad as the kids. One kid (very little) spilled water all over because her parents cut the toddler loose with a metal cup with no lid. So the guy starts off with "You don't need to call out what I'm doing, because every one can see" and these idiot kids immediately start yelling out what animal he is. They got so loud I thought the Librarian (who is just great) was going to have an aneurysm for the noise level. I think librarians have a built in pressure kill switch that causes pain in proportion to the level of noise in the building. I don't know how she held it together. Do you think a deaf librarian wouldn't ever need Advil?

Yes I live in unincorporated Snohomish County...

So then it's improv time with human jazz man and the first word called out is "barf". Ok yes it was an 11 or 12 year old kid, I actually have no beef with the kids, they are kids. His parents were right there and when he said barf they were laughing and clapping. I have to give humanjazzman credit for taking that and running with it after all. His first response was "i feel sorry for the front row" which was just classic and off the cuff.

I figured the next word out there would be "shit" or something more colorful such as "the runs" but no it was "Mr. Smarty Pants". OK so dude takes his pants and pulls them up to his chest. Tammy and I start to laugh and I try to take a photo as he walks around doing this rather pompus voice (thats the smarty part i guess) and it was just so funny. I almost fell off of my chair. Do you know what i mean?

Max got a turn and called out "thunder" the guy did a great weather thing at that point that ranged from wind to thunder to hail. It ended with some RV jokes about how hail always hits the Airstream Sales lot instead of a swimming pool. Not as funny as the previous visual, but funny none the less.

I might not be able to describe what he does with words, but if you get a chance to see human jazz... do so.

Backroom blues

I headed down town about 1:00 today to help Tom move out of the store. It closed last night for the last time. I wish I had gone to the backroom more often. I'm glad I did get there the few times that I did. I'm thinking of producing a magic show on sunday nights or monday nights using local talent.

I'm hoping to book the space at BCT for it, but we'll see as things move forward. I plan on using Tom as my headliner.

At the backroom we loaded set after set of cups and balls into the back of our truck and then other stuff into a van and the volvo of Tom's was already full. We then headed out to a guy named Sage's house. I had to get booking back up here so we unloaded the cups and I had to book. For that little trip I had more balls than anyone around I'm sure of it.

I hope to see another 'back room' show up soon, but we'll see. The only constant is change.

Early morning bike ride

So we went out on the bikes this morning. We starte at bothell landing at about 8:30 and rode to a little park with a beach in seattle. It was a round trip of about 18 miles. Max did great. He was a bit overly cautios at first stopping at the first sign of anything, but he got over that and we rode.

At the part I ate a GU (banana) it was really good. That should have been a clue to me I was hungry. I'm not that smart. about 3/4 of the way back I had to stop and eat another one (vanilla) that one was really good and I was shaking. I hadn't had much breakfast so it made sense, but I didn't think I would get loopy with such a short ride going on. I ate that second shot and put my last one in my pocket so I didn't have to stop everyone if I needed it. I wanted it but I didn't really want to jam another 100 calories down so fast. I wanted to wait to let the stuff I had in me kick in. I pushed the water hard and that helped move it along and when we got to the car I was fine again.

We loaded up. That's a workout in and of itself. We came home and I just had time to grab a quick can of soup and a shower before I headed out again.

ah va-nilla

Yesterday the weather was nice the traffic sucked and I didn't care. The sun was shining and I decided to get the car cleaned. I went to the Texaco on 85th. That place just rocks. Since I hadn't done it in years or to my beetle for that matter I shot the works. Now I didn't go for a detail which involves hand waxing or anything, I just did the top package.

After a charming conversation with the cashier about how shell (yes shell) comes in and takes off 3 points from their inspection every time because they wear the car wash uniform instead of a shell outfit.

um it's a Texaco. So shell wants their people with Texaco signs and a shell uniforms. No idea.

I went out and sat on the porch and my beetle came through without it's antenna. I said "shit" and I looked at my paper and it said "not responsible for antennas" and a whole bunch of other crap. I thought well fuck. It look sheered off. I watched the lady wash my glass inside and then the dash and treat the leather seats. I thought well I'll just get a new one of those. As she finished she pulled the antenna out of the car and put it on. Shit... I didn't even know it would come off. BAM.

I popped in it and was overcome by the smell of the air freshener. I'm thinking they did it a little heavy but this morning in the am (under redundant... see redundant) when I popped open the car and hopped in and the vanilla was just right...

I came in a little late today because I have a meeting til 5:00pm and we (they) don't have Dance anymore. I didn't want to get into the mess known loosely as 'the highway' so I stuck to the regular old streets all the way to work. I stopped and got this shot:



I should have put my main camera bag back into beetle I would have taken a nice slide, but I only had the little digital.

The drive was very nice and all the way I could smell the vanilla...

This early morning

I sit in my office trying to do code reviews. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure. This means I'm reading someone elses code as closely as possible trying to look for bugs and/or design issues.

I'm reminded of a line that Bill Murray delivered with such conviction in "Scrooged"... and that is:

"WILL YOU PLEASE HOLD THE GOD DAMN HAMMERING?!?"

I don't know who is or why they are hammering this fine morning, but it's pissing me off...

Rough ride

So I had some trouble getting home tonight.

I had a sneezing fit as I rounded the corner onto 51st. It's one of those dual left turn lanes and yes there was a bus to my right and cars behind me and cars coming up to the light on my left. I just guessed and sneezed and didn't hit any cars but I curbed the beetle pretty good.

next...

message in a blogger To: *the guy i let in on 527 from fred meyer* "Hey fucker! Stick you hand up in the air and move it back and forth a couple of times. This is called a wave and it doesn't cost you anything at all except you look like less of an asswhipe after I let you in when I so didn't have to.

then...

Then pulling into safeway I was going to take this really sweet space right by the door but there was someone standing in it either conteplating life as we know it on the planet or trying to remember how to get into their car. It was hard to tell from where I was so I took a shady spot by and island in the lot... and i curbed the fucking beetle again on the other side... at least I was symentric... Hopefully I won't have a flat in the morning.

Coke update

A quick look in my recycling bin outside my office shows that the word "classic" is still on the can... morons. But they make a good soda. I don't give them credit for anything but the ability to follow a simplistic recipe and only fuck it up every 20 years of so...

coke: when will they learn?

OK i was in driver's Ed when new coke hit the streets. I remember my driving teacher who used to slam her ring on the dash of our brown K car again and again yelling "today" at us when we drove to slow and slamming on her brake whenever we crossed the line of too fast or too close... to like another car or a mailbox or something.

I know thats when new coke came out because I would take the 4 down into town past my High School (it was summer) into a worse part of town, which in retrospect was about the same as it's hard to get much rougher than where Walnut Hills is. Then I took on of the miriad of cross town busses to Withrow High which was in fact a much rougher Highschool than mine.

I would do my driver's ed simulator time which for those of you know up to speed on 80's driving simulation technology was a movie and a desk with a steering wheel bolted to it and some pedals that didn't do much on the floor. I'm sure it's way different now... unless you go to Withrow then I'm sure it's a movie and a set of desks with steering wheels bolted to them and pedals that don't do much. Then we would ride in the car and then for like 15 mins we'd drive in the car. When it was all over I would do the bus thing in reverse get home and get drive to work with my dad in the car in our yellow amc gremlin.

I left out an imporant step between getting out of class and getting back on the bus. I would sneak into the building. You can read sneak as "walk without telling anyone what I was doing" I don't want you to think it was some serious covert operation, but I didn't tell anyone what I was up to. I would then go to the teacher's lounge and with the lights out I would approach the coke machine. It hadn't been loaded since summer started but since there were no teachers consuming it the machine still had stock. I would put my 2 quarters in and get back a coke can that didn't say 'new' on it. I drank it usually pretty fast. It was my only life line during the misguided summer of 'new coke'

Oh there were lots of theories about new coke. Some of them said that new coke was just diet coke with sugar instead of nutrisweet. Or was it saccarine back then still? Some said they had stolen the Pepsi recipe and replicated. This never made sense to me because Pepsi was #2. I think they were just fucking with something that wasn't broken. When coke classic appeard, to be renamed cleverly "coke" in later years, we all breathed a sigh of relief and went back to our lives.

I flunked the driving test in that gremlin once and had to go back and take manuverablity (the cone course) again. Luckily the second time I didn't have the examiner known to me only as "prick" instead I had "nice old guy" who passed me. I still can't parallel park... Coke was back however!

So today Coke is launching yet another product thats trying to ride the low carb craze called C2 or some such bullshit. I say "hello" you have a low carb product already... um it's called diet coke for christ sake... At least they didn't yank Coke from the market.

If you really want to cut the carbs from coke in 1/2 do what I'm doing now at work. Drink 1/2 the coke. Replace the other half with water... cheaper too. Just a lil tip.

on a lighter note...

The dance demonstration went fine. There was a moment at the end of our routines that we were bailing and they didn't have the intermission that they had planned. Instead the director (she has been mentioned in the blog before see if you can find her.) came out and started talking. Lights still down. Saving grace is we were in the back. But as per usual i'm ahead of my own feet.

The recital (or dance demonstration) started off with a minor incident where we had to buy me a ticket because I was too stupid to bring my own ticket. Luckily we got a spare from another person in the class who had a grand parent or some such bail on them.

The recital (sorry dance demonstration to be known henceforth as DD) The DD itself went great. Max's personality shined through as he tapped and then on his way out he gave the crowd a little wave. Very nice.

With Sam you could tell where Tammy was she was off stage to one side and sam stole a glance now and again. They are so (i hate this word) cute, yet the skill is amazing to me who figuratively has two left feet. If I had them literally I would need special shoes. The little kids did great too.

Tammy's class got huge amounts of applause. They range in age up to 80 and they had flapper costumes and they sounded great. Tammy traded out her dress at the last minute so she could actually dance in it. Instead of the nice light blue she had black so she didn't stand out enough against the black stage, but still it looked and sounded great.

We had a bunch of the kids' school teachers with us in the audience and I'm glad Max's teacher was on the end because he had the nerve to get up despite the fact that it wasn't a 'good' time to bail. We all followed him. We told people in the back about our seats so they could sit down.

After that we went to Friday's for some dinner and desert. The staff sang Happy Birthday to Sam in so much as the song had the words happy and birthday in it, but no 'to you' or any other thing like tune that might make BMG sue the TGIFriday's chain of establisments. Sam's kindegarten teacher told her to stand on her chair as they sang so I helped her up. When she came down Christy asked her if she wanted us to sing 'happy birthday' for real to her and Sam said no thanks. She'd had enough attention to last her. This is funny because the whole meal she kept asking me if I had told them it was her birthday and I kept not answering her. Then when it came down she was a little taken a back.

I ate cheese sticks with Sam and some apple crisp. They didn't have the big brownie thing and I'll applaud Tammy's restraint in not injuring the messenger when he told her they were out of brownies.

Then we went home and I'd like to say we peacefully went to bed... but that would be a LIE. No Max had some congestion and so We wanted him to have some antihistimine (sp?). The only kind we had left was a tiny caplet and he can swallow pills, but there is always a war of wills before he does it. It took an hour and a half I think before tammy finally got him to do it. Our styles are a little different. Tammy's is better, but I'm just not capable of being so positive after an hour of trying to get him to take it. Tammy and I both are of the opinion if we ever cave we're done for so we stand our ground despite the fact that I really really wanted to go to bed.

She tagged me out and I don't know what she did to get him to take it, but I uploaded the flapper photos while she did it then I was clear. I crashed pretty hard right after that. I didn't make it in to work at my usual early time... I don't think I actually slept between 5 and 7 but I rested some to catch up.

I'll post the flapper URL a little later...

Have you ever watched a train wreck?

One time I watched a guy almost get crushed by a garbage truck. I did something about it. I got out of my car and I yelled a lot. What do you do when there is nothing to do?

It might sound like i'm avoiding doing something. Could I do something? Short answer: no. why? I know you're asking that. Why? because it's not my place. It's far away yet close. On the surface it's perfect logical and sane. Get past that and you have utter mental illness. I use a non funny term there because it's not funny.

I've made subtle moves to try and help here, but I can't just go put my foot down.

Am I just in self denial when I say: "It's not my foot to put down."?

If that is the case i'm not the only one is delusional... i'd be one of two.

If you see me... ask me and i'll tell you.

phew

We survived. Both kids are resting now. Sam had a tough time and she wasn't listening very well, but we got through the party...

and onto the dance demonstration (ie recital)

sleep over update

It was a rather uneventful night once they were down. We had some problems with Sam going to bed because I think she was way overtired and a little overloaded.

Tammy is making pancakes now and since none of them want eggs or bacon i'm excused... so I'm hiding again.

sleep over count down...

5:00 just finished up laundry for the first ding of the bell...

5:15 We are at 2 bonus kids and a reasonable noise level. My status? hiding in my office....

5:16 3 bonus kids 2 extra moms (for the moment) and a hiding C... M... F

5:18 steady... steady...

5:19 I see neighbors clearly fleeing the area. (It's also raining a little so the fire danger is averted)

5:34 still short one kid and we're trying to estimate pizza consumption in the free world...

5:56 pizza is on the way...

5:58 dog is still under wraps I'll have to hold him until after dinner.

6:06 pizza man is toying with me... bastard must know what we're up against. We need resupply! This is serious.

6:40 last of the parents have left. We're on our own now. I keep trying to figure escape routes, but Tammy keeps foiling me. I was digging a tunnel from the downstairs bathroom to the crawl space where I figured I could claw my way through the concrete, but she took the spoon... damn.

Dance shots done

I finished the dance shots. I'll post a link to shutterfly when we've uploaded them later.

I got lots of sleep last night and yet I'm just so tired. Could it be all the first grad girls coming over to spend the night in 44 minutes?

I'm predrained?

batesville conincidence

On the way to work I was thinking about my near smashed experience when I saw a Batesville Caskett company doube truck on the 405. It says on it "Drive safely. Heaven can wait." It also has a big old registered trademark next to it's tree on the hill logo. Is it cause they are gonna cut down those lovely trees to make a box to bury my sorry trafficaccidentsmashed ass? Or is that my cemetary will have such nice trees we need to register a trademark with the feds?

So then I stared thingking about death and dismemberment. Because hey two great tastes that taste great together. OK sorry that was so sick. I was really thinking about how if I die in certain ways Tammy and the kids get more money. I'm not sure how the policy works but I do know it has be an accident so if I get murdered it right out as that was no accident that was on purpose!

But if I'm in a car wreck should cut off my little toe (does that count as a dismemberment?) I do hope it doesn't have to be my member that gets cut off! I need to read that thing. I might want to drop this policy. I'm getting ahead of my... self... so to speak.

So should I cut off a toe so if I die in the hospital later of a thrown clot or something (this is just getting more and more morbid, but what are you gonna do? ask for your money back? I think not.) then will she get the 60 boxes of ziti? I need to find these things out. Course if they figure out I offed my own toe and I die in the accident does she get the money?

Also wait a sec I get the whole accidental part but the dismemberment part is kinda puzzling. What does it matter what shape I'm in. I'm dead. I'm done. So i'm a couple of pieces why does she (I almost say 'we', but I'm not getting nuttin) get extra cash for that? So the suddenness I get. But I'd rather have suddenness insurance that accdiental dismemberment insurance... My brother in law died suddenly about a year ago and he didn't have *any* insurance because he had cancer as a child and couldn't get any. I could see wanting extra on the "suddenness" aspect but if I'm shaped like a triangle who cares? I mean is it like hittin the double zero in roulette?

Oh the other saying on the truck was: "Preserving the dignity of life" or some such. Talk about your vaporware. Do they know how much dignity I had when I was alive when I'm recently departed? (thats the most tactful thing in this whole post) I think not. Maybe they do research. I mean how does one come back to them and get a claim on that garantee? I dunno. If you were some kind of ass clown in life do they just compost you?

There's an idea...

Photo Shoot

Last night I did a photo shoot for Tammy's adult tap class. It was a fair amount of work for the 3 images that will be printed and I was very tired after the fact and I was very tired before I started shooting, but the people were so nice it didn't matter.

The teacher Jerry was really good at posing them and that made it very easy.

I always forget something. It's inevitable. So the whole time I'm setting up I'm wonder what did I forget? Cause when I figure it out them i'm all, "Cool now I know! That's what i forgot." This time it was the powerstrip... I have 2 things that need plugged in and one extension cord. No problem as there is plenty of time. This is a free shoot. I'm not making a dime on it. I'm shooting digital and there isn't much in the way of prints so it's not a huge deal. The owner of the place that granted didn't have much vested interest in me shooting these was up front. I asked her if they had a power strip or an extension cord around. She goes "yes in the garage but I can not help you now!" She was clearly taken a back by my even asking. So I went into the garage and when we finally found the light switch I was freaked out by a couple of things. First off the extension cords running power through this place are not exactly up to code and all the junk in there looked fairly dangerous. Lots of tools and well junk. But this wasn't your average junk lots of electrical stuff and even some dismantled power wheel chairs. It was like Dr. Kavorkian was taking an electronics class for future products and services. In all that electrical stuff no extension cord or power strip. So I went and moved closer to the wall. Thats problem solving. Oh and yes she was busy. She was placing brochures up front for something... no clue...

Then strangely enough we almost started on time. I was all set before 7 having done my color checker shots (Thanks to C for helping out there). The shoot was flawless. It was easy to do the people were actually grateful, they said thank you and everything! It was just crazy. Another friend suggested using shutterfly to distribute the photos (Thanks to C (different C) for that.)

I will post the final group shot when I'm done. I wonder should I post the color checker shot?... Maybe in a future post I'll put up a bunch of my color checker shots... I need more time editing the main group shot, but I have to have it posted by Sunday....

You fill in the holes...

I just wanted to mention I read 'holes' aloud to the kids. This book is so freakin' good I read 1/2 of it (about 100 pages) in one night and they were on the edge of their seats the whole time.

I like the book better than the movie, but that's usually the case.

Warning: Today is going to be a flurry of posts as I've got a few things pent up.

netflix surprise

I never know why I rent movies from netflix. I wish they had a memo feature that would print a little slip or even email me with the phrase "Deonn said this was good so blame her if it sux"

Message in a blogger (4 Netflix) : "hey netflix see the feature above and let me create a circle of friends who can add movies to my queue while your at it" (That last one would save me a step.)

So I get this movie "sleep with me" and I don't know why I rented it. Imagine my surprise when my friend Dean (or click here)is on the screen in black and white. (thats why I had rented it cause he was in it). I really liked the movie. (don't think i'm sucking up because I don't think he reads this, but for all you know I'm going to send him a link so maybe I am sucking up... you the reader (unless you *are* Dean) you won't know, will ya?)

This also means that Dean knows Parker Posey... "Who's on top and who's on bottom now???"...

somebody stop me?

I think Houdini himself would be upset by this No. I'm sure of it.

maybe i need a sideblog... hmmm

so I won't shut up? I keep posting and posting today.

Yet another ptsa chapter... yes indeed my last meeting was tonight... well not exactly.

Not enough people showed up to call to order.

At first I was full of glee. Yes I was gleeful. OK not quite but I was happy to get the fuck out of there. Fact is as I drove to taco bell to supplement my earlier modest dinner of left over salmon and mashed potatoes I realized that nobody showed up. I spent the time to do the agenda. I took the time to go. Some of my execs took time out to prepare reports and to be there and nobody from the board showed up. Tammy was excused because we could't get a sitter and she at least told someone she wasn't going to show. I had one other person not only tell me they couldn't be there, but also thank me for my work this year.

At least nobody came down on me.

As a bit of post mortem I really did a true evaluation of myself in this position. I would say (and those in the know will understand the terminology ) that I was not a 4.0 president. This year I would have been a 4.0 president. I was however a steady 3.5. I had my stuff done on time. Sometimes we missed stuff and I know i gathered heat when I was a hard ass about not pulling the newsletter for stuff people forgot. I learned that lesson quickly that I couldn't let people push that deadline around if I wanted to keep my newsletter person. She did a great job and she was the only one who showed up tonight.

I talked to Deonn before the meeting and she asked me on the phone if I had down on the agenda to "not get a thank you from anyone" I told her I had forgotten about that and thanks for bringing that up. She was right.

Tammy called the attendence of one plus officers. She was right... she usually is.

So what did I learn from all this? I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm also still trying to see how the children benifited from me being president and I'm having a hard time seeing it right now. I mean they got play bingo. The orginazation raised enough money for field trips next year. I guess that's all something, but when you put in that many hours you hope to see something that made a differnece. Maybe I wasn't a 3.5 maybe I was a 3.0. I wonder if I'll get a pip...

almost tagged on the way home

I was cruisin on a 4 lane road that is generally stop and go around 4:00 when I was there and I had to do a quick stop. Not a shit your pants kinda stop (not yet anyway) but a pretty hard stop. I think it was one that in the 70's your mom would have whacked you in the chest, but not broken a rib kinda stop.

It's all good not even my tablet fell off the seat next to me... then screech i look up in the rear view to see a lady in an acura have a 'shit the pants and fracture the kid's sternum next to you as you try to keep them from flying through the windshied' kinda stop.

you would have thought that would have scared me... I'm not that bright, or I'm a really cool customer... yup you guessed, just a little slow on the uptake. I watched it happen and they say you injure yourself more if you're all still and bracing yourself. Well I'd have been fine because I just sat there and didn't really 'get' it until after the fact. The poor lady just sat there as I drove off. I mean jeez lady you dind't actually hit me, so relax. Call it a near miss and move on.

Maybe i had just used up all my scared for one day... more on that another day... perhaps.

You may experience some soreness

This is what they said as they put the powerchain on this morning. They didn't tell me it would be in my knee.... you know i guess it could be unrelated... maybe.

powerchain

I know it isn't funny or exciting to see my teeth. It's even gross at some level.

But as you can see here they are (or maybe not because you have put black electrical tape over my teeth here so you can't see them, or maybe just your hand so you can read the text and be spared my appliance hell) You know when they (the orthodonists peeps) say 'appliance' i always want to laugh at them because it sounds like I should have a kitchenaid microwave in there or something. There's an idea, heat up your food as you eat it... bad for the tounge. Of course I can't laugh at them because a. they have instruments in my mouth and b. well they have instruments they can 'put' in my mouth if they get pissed off at me, so mostly i just keep my mouth open...




The kids called for red white and blue so thats the bottom, but the top is one big ass rubberband in a chain and it only comes in one color. I wish they had the colors that change as you view them from different angles... but no.

It doesn't really hurt yet, but I hear tell round these parts that there is a storm a brewin in my mouth... or maybe it's just a bad moon rising.

Oh update on the glow in the dark... The reason they didn't glow... whoever put them in might have given me the wrong colors.... ah well... next time... OH maybe the next power chain can be RADIOACTIVE... maybe.

I couldn't have been more wrong

Lots of dancing both Dads and Girls.

Cookies... Lemonade...

I was really surprised even the Dad with the broken leg was dancing. a lot. I'm guessing that guy is gonna write a book Stupid Crutch Tricks or he's going to break his other leg... or maybe both.

Special thanks to Isabella and Rick for hanging out with us the whole time, it was nice to have someone to talk to.

The girls had a blat and we even did some limbo.

I think I have now danced more with my 6 year old daughter than I have with Tammy in the many years we've been together. Maybe I should fix that... oh wait... I don't really dance well.

Quick jaunt into Seattle...

We went into Seattle to buy tickets for Harry Potter. We got seats on 7/1/04... Yes you read that right we bought tickets about a month in advance. For two reasons. The first is that it's at the IMAX theater in all of it's hugeness and glory. B Tammy's sister and her husband will be in town at that time and we are all going together, so we like to plan ahead...

We had a nice lunch in the center house. I had a couple of Gyros. I should have had a single gyro not two... dumb. I didn't have dessert like everyone else at the ice cream place.

I actually took a nap when we got home and I woke up with a start. The dog saw a squirrel. I thought it was later than it was and I hopped up out of bed.

I have daddy daughter dance tonight with Sam. I'm dressed up a bit, but no tie. I'm looking forward to watching Sam run around with her friends while all these dad's stand around uncomfortable.

I for myself... my situation... I'm president of the god damn PTA. Say it with me: GOD DAMN PTA... You can say it out loud if you like GOD...DAMN... PTA... so this shit is right up my ally...

Repetition

So I go to this meeting today. It's quite a few people and it's run by my boss' boss. The first words out of his mouth were... "This meeting will be mostly a repetition"... After the song yesterday I thought he was making a private joke to me (because he's reading this right now... unless he's not and you are... that is you aren't my boss' boss, then while it's unlikely that he's reading it right now it is certainly possible. Except for right now because I haven't posted it yet I'm still typing into the form in which case I'm almost certain he's not reading it... if he is I got way bigger security problems than him reading this...)phew

So I'm not a fan of status meetings anyways. So when we start one off with "repetition" I just keep getting the song in my head again.. There are a variety of smart ass remarks that can be said after such an opening line.

"so if this is a repetition of last time, does that mean we can ignore you just the same as the last time?"
"are you really here or have they replaced with a Disney automaton that will just keep repeating the status meeting week in week out?"
"so you're still stuck on that idea of Microsoft taking over Banff?"
"But last time you made Chris cry... Shouldn't we ease up just a little?"
"Well if you're repeating last time, I'll just work on my blog"

I opted to just look at him with as much of a blank stare as I could muster. At that point the big TV he projects onto came to life and that naturally distracted me as it was shiny and I forgot it all. (special thanks to deonn who did an over the phone real time life regression hypnosis therapy on me (oh boy the search engines are going to have a field day with that phrase) to bring back my full sarcastic potential)

In truth the meeting was fine. There was in fact interesting stuff about some new shit. New shit by definition is not a repetition... it's new shit. So he sold himself short and actually put on a worth while meeting. Now you're wondering "is he sucking up?" because my boss' boss reads this before pretty much anybody else. So maybe I'm just writing this paragraph to save my own ass or maybe I'm writing it because I really did get something out of the meeting (I almost said "enjoy" in which case deonn would have to come out to the house for some real time regressive slap in the face reality check therapy... I mean it was a meeting after all... and a status meeting at that.. so let's not get carried away) Or maybe the meeting was good and I'm just writing this because I think it's funny. I would suggest that I thought you thought it was funny, but I just write things here that just amuse me so that really doesn't make sense. This could be part of my original idea for this blog entry in my head it went like this: "so then I'll write a disclaimer that's like back and forth and I'll write about me thinking about writing a disclaimer that goes back and forth like in that weird ass movie adaptation with nick cage" and then I'll actually write it. The problem with that is it's hard to stop. So I ask you...

Was this at all repetitive?

crisis averted

I've even thought about the song this morning yet, it's not creeping back in... life is good... I can think again... ok it wasn't that bad.

Horrible song

I've got the dumbest song stuck in my head. I won't repeat the name or you might get it stuck in your head and that would be bad.

I've played all kinds of music out of my iPod today... lots... all of the whole Mild Malaise play list and this stupid refrain is still going through my cranium.

doh.

Of course the thing that makes it stick in my head is why I hate it so much. It's almost 100% refrain and therfore repetition of one line. Repetition is the key to annoyance. That's a law. A natural law. Think about it. If something is annoying you I bet it's already happened twice...

I'll never forget the name of this song... why? because it's the same as the refrain! It's horrible.

It isn't ironic either.

worse and worse

so the ptsa gig hit an all time low today. I screwed up some stuff with the newsletter and so I worked really hard to fix it. I got the layout person to work really hard to fix it. I then failed to communicate (I didn't like just drop the ball and not call. I must not have been clear.) what was going on to the copy person.

All my fault.

I've apologized up and down. It's like I'm speaking into radio silence. You ever say "sorry" to someone and they just look at you? Like someone leaving you hanging on a hand shake? (I read in another blog today that leaving someone hanging should be punishable by death and despite my lack of capital punishment beliefs I think leaving someone hanging is in fact a hangin' offencse. Unless you are woman and a dumb ass man offers you his hand without wating for you to offer yours. Then just leave the fucker hanging... in fact... hang the fucker. Guys: Do not offer your hand to a woman, it's rude. Actually miss manners i think was quoted as saying, "Ladies: if a man offers you his hand and you don't want to shake it, a nice hard slap across his face is perfectly polite and should suffice... ok maybe that wasn't miss manners... maybe it was my college ethics professor... he was a real hoot. I don't know... I should get off the drugs, huh?... (why not simply ignore this really long nested parenthetical))

PTSA Countdown: 1 more event. 1 more exec meeting. 1 more board meeting. 1 more barbeque (the transitional meeting) and I'm done. Oh ya one more Audit, but that's not my deal by then I'll be out. did you hear me? out. let me say it again.

out.

done.

This is really taking it's toll on my stress level. It's a fucking newsletter people....

ah i feel better.... ok no i don't but I thought it might make you feel better having read this then me saying I felt better and just by your reading it I felt better.... wait I do feel better... i do in fact... no lie. Not 100% but still better.

Thanks for reading. Email me why don't ya? Especially if you don't know me...

under the department of .. "ya think?"

duh

watch out for the popup.

I hope nobody got grant money out of that

word for the day... and a possible career change?

fla·vor·ist [ fláyv?rist ] (plural fla·vor·ists)

noun

professional producer of artificial flavors: somebody trained to isolate and blend chemicals in order to create artificially the taste and smell of a specific food


I guess I should have stayed awake in chemistry and not gotten a c-, then huh?