back?

Front. Who knows?

I want to get back to blogging. I'm sorry I've been so away. My hits stayed up there what with all the free porno driving my random hits into the level of silly.

I usually like to wait til I have something to say. Something that I think is funny.

It was hard to find stuff funny while I had the virus and the fever.

Now while other stuff seems a little funny the virus and fever are still not funny. You know when you look back on something awful and you can laugh? I still can't laugh about that. I'm working on it. I managed to find humor in my viral tonsillitis from over 5 years ago, but it certainly wasn't funny at the time. It's kinda funny now.

So I was really sick. I had this bad ass fever that nobody could bring down and they knew I had an infection but they didn't know where it was (that freaks docs out). This was back when we still lived in the shit hole. So I got this blinding headache that went from the back of my neck forward and I called the doc. He told me to high tail it to the ER. He was a Doc who would give you that, "you're fine!" on the phone usually. So I booked out.

When I got there and described my symptoms they got me back kinda quick. They thought I have might have meningitis. Which I thought was a disease reserved for the Mennonites, but apparently not.

So now picture Hank Azaria when he plays the dog walker in "mad about you" as your Dr.

got it? scary? a little bit. Thick NY accent and yet speaks very slowly which isn't common in NY.

He takes a look at me and in that thick accent when he looks down my throat (talk about no wonder we pay dr.'s alot. They also have to look UP YOUR FUCKING NOSE. That's up your nose. Anyways)

He looks down my throat and says, "oh geez look at the size of THOSE!"

I'm all, "what?" (but you couldn't understand me because I was in the AHHHH position and he was still looking in there intently. I don't do the whole tongue depressor thing because well I fucking hate them. A nurse practitioner once surprised me with one and I took her by the wrist. Freaked her out a little (and me too as I hadn't realized what I was doing) I can fucking say AHH and you can see my pyloric valve (which is the south side of one's stomach). What can I say I have a big fucking mouth.)

He told me my tonsills were so big they had folded over on themselves. He asked me if I had had tonsillitis before. Which the correct answer is "NO" because otherwise you find your self upstairs being admitted so they can take them out. Honestly at that point I was in so much pain they could have taken them out with a golf club and I'd have been OK with it.

I love to blog.