uh cap-com we are no go for the haircut
So I was going to get a haircut this morning. I was going to drag the boy out of bed at 7:30 and get myself and him a serious set of hair cuts. There were clippers in the plan, people. But... no.
OK so why did we scrub the cut?
Because of the damn dog. Not the new dog no no. The usual suspect. He's got a new habit of barfing right about 3:30am. This is very disruptive to my night. I mean I have to get up and then clean it up.
you might want to stop reading now. I mean this isn't funny it's gross. OK it might be funny to someone but then again watching cspan is funny for some. Hey I know a guy who watches QVC at night because it's funny. Wait it is funny.
OK so ya gross.
So I have to clean it up. It's bad you know. This isn't your garden variety I ate grass and drank salt water like a stupid dog and tossed it back up for your pleasure. No sir this is industrial strength nasty fucking vomit.
So there is the cleaning. The Flushing and then the cleaning more to help alleviate the smell. And the gagging. No not the dog, ME.
So then I'm all up in the night. When I was younger (listen to me? I'm fucking 36 not 86 (WHAT DID YOU SAY?)) when I was younger I could just roll over and sleep again. Not now. I get pissed. Does that mean I'm Crotchety? (that is so not in the spell checker.)
Then I got to thinking if you're old are you really crotchety? Does your crotch become somehow more in charge? No-fuckin-way. If that was the way they'd say, "That kid that fucking crotchety punk mutherfuckin' 18 year old better turn his god damn stereo down."
See when you're old isn't the crotch become less important? I mean I hope I'm wrong. I want it get better as it gets older, but I'm guessing by all those damn viagra advertisements that is just isn't the case.
So why do we call it Crotchety?
Do you think someday Quiet Riot will be the spokespeeps for Viagra?
Come on feel the noise... girls rock the boys... we'll get wild wild wild.. ya ya
so you say I've got a limp dick? I've got no worries. I tell them why: Viagra... VIAGRA...
Imagine how bad hearing loss will affect talking dirty:
"Who's my bitch?"
"What?"
"I said WHO's my BITCH?"
"you have an itch? you wanna stop?"
"NO... Who's my SLUT?"
"You're not in a rut honey this is great, keep going we have 2 hours left on that generic viagra pill we got off the internet"
"GODDAMMIT"
"Are you done? I didn't feel it."
Crotchety!
OK so why did we scrub the cut?
Because of the damn dog. Not the new dog no no. The usual suspect. He's got a new habit of barfing right about 3:30am. This is very disruptive to my night. I mean I have to get up and then clean it up.
you might want to stop reading now. I mean this isn't funny it's gross. OK it might be funny to someone but then again watching cspan is funny for some. Hey I know a guy who watches QVC at night because it's funny. Wait it is funny.
OK so ya gross.
So I have to clean it up. It's bad you know. This isn't your garden variety I ate grass and drank salt water like a stupid dog and tossed it back up for your pleasure. No sir this is industrial strength nasty fucking vomit.
So there is the cleaning. The Flushing and then the cleaning more to help alleviate the smell. And the gagging. No not the dog, ME.
So then I'm all up in the night. When I was younger (listen to me? I'm fucking 36 not 86 (WHAT DID YOU SAY?)) when I was younger I could just roll over and sleep again. Not now. I get pissed. Does that mean I'm Crotchety? (that is so not in the spell checker.)
Then I got to thinking if you're old are you really crotchety? Does your crotch become somehow more in charge? No-fuckin-way. If that was the way they'd say, "That kid that fucking crotchety punk mutherfuckin' 18 year old better turn his god damn stereo down."
See when you're old isn't the crotch become less important? I mean I hope I'm wrong. I want it get better as it gets older, but I'm guessing by all those damn viagra advertisements that is just isn't the case.
So why do we call it Crotchety?
Do you think someday Quiet Riot will be the spokespeeps for Viagra?
Come on feel the noise... girls rock the boys... we'll get wild wild wild.. ya ya
so you say I've got a limp dick? I've got no worries. I tell them why: Viagra... VIAGRA...
Imagine how bad hearing loss will affect talking dirty:
"Who's my bitch?"
"What?"
"I said WHO's my BITCH?"
"you have an itch? you wanna stop?"
"NO... Who's my SLUT?"
"You're not in a rut honey this is great, keep going we have 2 hours left on that generic viagra pill we got off the internet"
"GODDAMMIT"
"Are you done? I didn't feel it."
Crotchety!
posted by J.R. at 6:03 PM
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