All the cool kids are doing it...
Ya well fuck the cool kids. I mean I was a geek and ya we mostly wanted to fuck the cool kids. I being straight wanted to fuck the cool girls. Ya but I was a geek which explains my rather underwhelming success in that arena in highschool.
Wow I digressed before I even started.
Can I have a word with you about... (no it isn't a business opportunity. It's not am-fucking-way.)
PayPal. Yes everybody loves PayPal don't they? Tom makes good sales on there. Fuck even the guy who sold me a new tire for my bike told me to sell my crap tire that was being replaced on eBay he said I might make some serious cash on it. He just got ... It's all about PayPal.
OK so PayPal what the fuck? Let's start with the name. Pay and Pal. OK so what did you pay your pal for? What did he do? Ever notice that all the pals you have a are dudes not chicks? Anyways
PayPal sounds like a male prostitute who dresses in the manner of a clown or a jester. Hi I'm Your PAL... now you PAY your Pal for... ya... no
It's named that way but it acts like a bank. They want to verify me. Fuck you. They want my checking account so they can put money in and take money out directly. Again: FUCK OFF. People worry about giving a credit card # to amazon. Amazon that's a good word. AMAZON it's a strong word. Compare: PayPal... Amazon... I'd much rather give my money to a warrior chick than a dude turning tricks wearing shoes with bells on them. Wouldn't you?
Would you walk into the local branch of PayPal? um NO. When you walk your money into a bank you want it to be strong.
Banks have Tellers ... PayPal has a webform that limits what questions you ask and then counts the characters as you post the question.
Banks have strong names like First United Bank of Security... PayPal... well we've covered that.
Banks have vaults. PayPal has... um nothing.
Most importantly. PayPal is a freaking .com not a bank. What do dot-com's do? They dot-gone is what they do.
So FDIC won't insure PayPal. Check it. They say so right on their site. They even offer the "PayPal Mutual fund" Oh boy give me some of that. Do they hear themselves talking. Do big executives at corporations consider dumping some of their assets in the PayPal Mutual fund... WTF? I mean really.
They say you can get FDIC pass through insurance which sounds like to me, and I'm just trying to read and interpret the legal shit myself and I am so not a lawyer, but it basically ok there is a serious potty humor joke here I'll skip. It means that PayPal doesn't have any FDIC insurance because the FDIC passed on them. As in "I'll pass I don't really like pickled hog's feet, maybe next time." Keep my money in there?
Really? It's Named Pay Pal. PAY PAL.
PayPal? The PayPal mutual fund... holy fucking jezus christ on a cracker. The insurance I have is simple if the bank fails I have FDIC. I don't keep my fucking money in non banks. I really don't give out my damn checking account number to non bank entities that I don't owe money to. FTN (that's "fuck that noise" for people who don't hang out with me)
OK so why the paypal rant? other than the fucking name which in itself is worthy of a good post.
Sometimes I have to use paypal. Why? Because they have filled a need for people who don't have merchant accounts to deal with big ass credit card companies. So when I want to give $30 to the geocahing.com site I have to go through paypal. In fact you can get a subscription. I don't think I did the autorenew. So I got to go where to find out if I did? PayPal of course. Wheee paypal.
I go there and I actually find the payment and the subscription information. Does it say when or if the subscription will autorenew... no it doesn't. Not one way or the other. So then I have to fill out this long ass form with my question. No phone #. NO way. PayPal does it on the cheap. They don't even give you an email address you have to use the damn webform.
Fuckers.
What do I expect? They are named PAY-PAL.
update: I just can't read very well. OK it's not worded really well either. Here is the answer from the FAQ not paypal's but groundspeak's
Renewing: 30.00 U.S. Dollars for each year
Nonrenewing: 30.00 U.S. Dollars for one year
I still don't think PayPal has enough information there and I still thing they have a stupid name.
The answer is no I have to renew again, but this time I don't have to use ... paypal.
Wow I digressed before I even started.
Can I have a word with you about... (no it isn't a business opportunity. It's not am-fucking-way.)
PayPal. Yes everybody loves PayPal don't they? Tom makes good sales on there. Fuck even the guy who sold me a new tire for my bike told me to sell my crap tire that was being replaced on eBay he said I might make some serious cash on it. He just got ... It's all about PayPal.
OK so PayPal what the fuck? Let's start with the name. Pay and Pal. OK so what did you pay your pal for? What did he do? Ever notice that all the pals you have a are dudes not chicks? Anyways
PayPal sounds like a male prostitute who dresses in the manner of a clown or a jester. Hi I'm Your PAL... now you PAY your Pal for... ya... no
It's named that way but it acts like a bank. They want to verify me. Fuck you. They want my checking account so they can put money in and take money out directly. Again: FUCK OFF. People worry about giving a credit card # to amazon. Amazon that's a good word. AMAZON it's a strong word. Compare: PayPal... Amazon... I'd much rather give my money to a warrior chick than a dude turning tricks wearing shoes with bells on them. Wouldn't you?
Would you walk into the local branch of PayPal? um NO. When you walk your money into a bank you want it to be strong.
Banks have Tellers ... PayPal has a webform that limits what questions you ask and then counts the characters as you post the question.
Banks have strong names like First United Bank of Security... PayPal... well we've covered that.
Banks have vaults. PayPal has... um nothing.
Most importantly. PayPal is a freaking .com not a bank. What do dot-com's do? They dot-gone is what they do.
So FDIC won't insure PayPal. Check it. They say so right on their site. They even offer the "PayPal Mutual fund" Oh boy give me some of that. Do they hear themselves talking. Do big executives at corporations consider dumping some of their assets in the PayPal Mutual fund... WTF? I mean really.
They say you can get FDIC pass through insurance which sounds like to me, and I'm just trying to read and interpret the legal shit myself and I am so not a lawyer, but it basically ok there is a serious potty humor joke here I'll skip. It means that PayPal doesn't have any FDIC insurance because the FDIC passed on them. As in "I'll pass I don't really like pickled hog's feet, maybe next time." Keep my money in there?
Really? It's Named Pay Pal. PAY PAL.
PayPal? The PayPal mutual fund... holy fucking jezus christ on a cracker. The insurance I have is simple if the bank fails I have FDIC. I don't keep my fucking money in non banks. I really don't give out my damn checking account number to non bank entities that I don't owe money to. FTN (that's "fuck that noise" for people who don't hang out with me)
OK so why the paypal rant? other than the fucking name which in itself is worthy of a good post.
Sometimes I have to use paypal. Why? Because they have filled a need for people who don't have merchant accounts to deal with big ass credit card companies. So when I want to give $30 to the geocahing.com site I have to go through paypal. In fact you can get a subscription. I don't think I did the autorenew. So I got to go where to find out if I did? PayPal of course. Wheee paypal.
I go there and I actually find the payment and the subscription information. Does it say when or if the subscription will autorenew... no it doesn't. Not one way or the other. So then I have to fill out this long ass form with my question. No phone #. NO way. PayPal does it on the cheap. They don't even give you an email address you have to use the damn webform.
Fuckers.
What do I expect? They are named PAY-PAL.
update: I just can't read very well. OK it's not worded really well either. Here is the answer from the FAQ not paypal's but groundspeak's
Renewing: 30.00 U.S. Dollars for each year
Nonrenewing: 30.00 U.S. Dollars for one year
I still don't think PayPal has enough information there and I still thing they have a stupid name.
The answer is no I have to renew again, but this time I don't have to use ... paypal.
posted by J.R. at 8:30 AM
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