Top five...
Not the top five records. Not the top five foods I could live forever on. No not even the top one food I could live forever on... No sir.
This would be the top five ways to take revenge on the wedding couple who's party kept you up in the hotel til 3:00am. It wasn't even like bed rocking noise that could at least be funny. It would loud idiot drunk fucks in the fucking drunk ass hallway making noise. OK I don't usually call. I just don't. I just deal. Last night, I fucking called. TWICE.
In no real particular order.
5. Rent a great dane. Have the great dane do it's business. Collect said business and put it outside the happy couples door. Have dog bark much. Then beat on door. Run.
4. See number five but get some room service trays and put said business there and knock with the words shouted at the top of one's lungs "Room Service Complimentary Honey Moon breakfast.
3. Watch out the window until the actual complimentary honeymoon room service. Lace any beverage with some sort of laxitive in the amount reccomended by the manufacturer for quick relief times three.
2. Write a letter of apology to the groom for having sex with him repeatedly at his bachelor party. Apologize profusefuly and promise to the destroy the photos. Upon slipping under the door knock very loudly so that you're sure both of them wake up...
1. Hand a sign on the door handle that reads: "The marriage? 6 months. TOPS!"
OK venting over....
This would be the top five ways to take revenge on the wedding couple who's party kept you up in the hotel til 3:00am. It wasn't even like bed rocking noise that could at least be funny. It would loud idiot drunk fucks in the fucking drunk ass hallway making noise. OK I don't usually call. I just don't. I just deal. Last night, I fucking called. TWICE.
In no real particular order.
5. Rent a great dane. Have the great dane do it's business. Collect said business and put it outside the happy couples door. Have dog bark much. Then beat on door. Run.
4. See number five but get some room service trays and put said business there and knock with the words shouted at the top of one's lungs "Room Service Complimentary Honey Moon breakfast.
3. Watch out the window until the actual complimentary honeymoon room service. Lace any beverage with some sort of laxitive in the amount reccomended by the manufacturer for quick relief times three.
2. Write a letter of apology to the groom for having sex with him repeatedly at his bachelor party. Apologize profusefuly and promise to the destroy the photos. Upon slipping under the door knock very loudly so that you're sure both of them wake up...
1. Hand a sign on the door handle that reads: "The marriage? 6 months. TOPS!"
OK venting over....
posted by J.R. at 8:26 AM
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