Drives me crazy
You know it's bad enough when there is one loud mouth idiot near you in a restaurant. It's even better when there are two of them playing off each other. Mix in a little this table is usually part of that table but we moved it 3 inches and now it's your table not the loud mouth idiot's table and you've got the making for one long meal.
While waiting to get our table Jen and I were jammed in this little alcove and these four people busted in and not knowing we already put our name in busted a move right in front of me to get to the host stand. No biggie right? I mean my name is in mutherfucker so fine. This guy "John" was loud from the get go. He asked the woman in the party if she was a vegetarian. She responded with, "Well I'm a Pescetarian. Nobody knows what I am. I am a vegetarian who eats fish. Pescetarian." She repeated like she was in a spelling bee. "Nobody knows what that is." I responded, but only under my breath, "I'm from Seattle I know what the fuck that is." She was just so loud about it.
When we got our little table for two. It was like two inches from an empty table for four. I thought "uh-oh" they're gonna be right next to us.
Yup. So we ordered and it was all good then the conversation started in earnest. From here on our we're going to call them She and He. It was really a table for two with accessories known as boyfriend and his brother who couldn't get a word in edgewise if they had to yell fire in a crowded theater. She starts in on the wine. "I ordered a zinfandel and I don't think that's what this is." She was trying to get it replaced and the server wouldn't do it. Nice.
His refrain was, "drives me crazy." He started it when he was talking about his work being too politically correct. There was someone there who belonged to some "groups" that this idiot apparently likes to make fun of so he was going on and on about having to walk on egg shells. In other words he enjoyed making fun of groups that this person belonged to. Drives me crazy, asshole.
The killer was when she said, "Well I like anything that's not American." Does it get any better than that? I mean really. (Un sweetie, let's not forget that everything American is stolen, OK? I mean seriously we were kicked out of every decent country in Europe to start us out. Anything that was already here we trampled with conquest so there really isn't anything American. Anything.) During the "anything not American" rant she did mention how much she loved Indian food.
Jen gives me the look over there head tilt. Our conversation had just stopped because these people were so fucking loud. I look over at miss unamerican loves Indian food and she doesn't know what to do with her curry. She's scooping the rice into the little "Let's share" serving style bowl.
Nobody knows what she is... Except me... Annoying.
I was hoping to fuck up some smart kids, but this is all Cambridge had to offer?
While waiting to get our table Jen and I were jammed in this little alcove and these four people busted in and not knowing we already put our name in busted a move right in front of me to get to the host stand. No biggie right? I mean my name is in mutherfucker so fine. This guy "John" was loud from the get go. He asked the woman in the party if she was a vegetarian. She responded with, "Well I'm a Pescetarian. Nobody knows what I am. I am a vegetarian who eats fish. Pescetarian." She repeated like she was in a spelling bee. "Nobody knows what that is." I responded, but only under my breath, "I'm from Seattle I know what the fuck that is." She was just so loud about it.
When we got our little table for two. It was like two inches from an empty table for four. I thought "uh-oh" they're gonna be right next to us.
Yup. So we ordered and it was all good then the conversation started in earnest. From here on our we're going to call them She and He. It was really a table for two with accessories known as boyfriend and his brother who couldn't get a word in edgewise if they had to yell fire in a crowded theater. She starts in on the wine. "I ordered a zinfandel and I don't think that's what this is." She was trying to get it replaced and the server wouldn't do it. Nice.
His refrain was, "drives me crazy." He started it when he was talking about his work being too politically correct. There was someone there who belonged to some "groups" that this idiot apparently likes to make fun of so he was going on and on about having to walk on egg shells. In other words he enjoyed making fun of groups that this person belonged to. Drives me crazy, asshole.
The killer was when she said, "Well I like anything that's not American." Does it get any better than that? I mean really. (Un sweetie, let's not forget that everything American is stolen, OK? I mean seriously we were kicked out of every decent country in Europe to start us out. Anything that was already here we trampled with conquest so there really isn't anything American. Anything.) During the "anything not American" rant she did mention how much she loved Indian food.
Jen gives me the look over there head tilt. Our conversation had just stopped because these people were so fucking loud. I look over at miss unamerican loves Indian food and she doesn't know what to do with her curry. She's scooping the rice into the little "Let's share" serving style bowl.
Nobody knows what she is... Except me... Annoying.
I was hoping to fuck up some smart kids, but this is all Cambridge had to offer?
posted by J.R. at 7:13 PM
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