I'm sorry what?

OK so back to ortho this morning. They took an impression of my upper arch as they call it. So OK last time I not only puked I also bit the poor woman taking the impression. I'm glad, by the way, that my job in no way gets me into any situation where one might be bitten. Finger given? sure. Yelled at? always. (No not really) Bad food in the cafe. Oh please that was redundant. Bad food... Cafe... duh.

This time they sprayed my throat, and asked me what flavor I wanted for the goop. Flavor? Howaboutanythingbutpuke? (You try to talk right after they spray down your throat with "numb it now!" or maybe it was just Raid Plus, hard to say by the taste.)

I will say that stuff works, she even did the tongue depresser extra goo trick and I didn't so much as gag. She jammed it in. (Sounds like a porno huh?) And I didn't even bite her. (A boring porno to be sure.) Then I managed to take all the air I needed through my nose. I've had a bit of a cold on top of everything so I was worried. Still didn't bite her. She messed with the tray and again, I didn't bite her. yay me.

Then the Dr. came over and admired my stitches. She was pretty impressed with my lack of swelling. So I got that going for me. Lack of inflamation boo ya. She goes, "I'm gonna close that gap." I got "uh what?.. What gap?"

She says, "That gap." Like I know which gap.

I say back, "You aren't going to put brackets on, are you?"

"Nope, just bend this."

She took my retainer (Yes I still say it like Chucky in Good Will Hunting.) and some pliers and turned her back. I'm all "uh oh." She gives it back and says, "Can you get that in?" (again with the boarder line taken out of context things to say) I push it in. (I'm gonna stop bringing up the porno-esque lines, I swear.) "Yeah it's in."

"Is it OK?"

I respond "It's tight." (Porno. OK really I'll stop now.)

So they bent that one, I get a new one this afternoon and I don't have to wear them during the day. I hope this new one glows... Creepy.