I don't even know it's there
It's not a growth, it's not a cyst and no it's not a tumor.
It's my ID for work. I affectionately call it my zippy clippy. Which might somehow be related to laffy taffy, but not being hip I have no idea.
Why am I not hip? Apparently because what is dangling from my lack of hip is my work ID. Yes all the time. Is it dorky? Yes. There is, however, a reason behind my geekyness.
If I wear it, I don't forget it. Then I don't end up doing a huge cartman imitation in the parking garage in the morning. God damnit you bastard mutherfuckerzipppygoddammmmclippy. Christ!
Then I have to call someone to let me in. Um thanks, Kurt. Then they have to listen to my further ranting. Sorry, Kurt.
The idea is to keep it with something I always have with me. I have my pants with me. All the time. Amazing. So when I move my wallet and my keys in the morning from one pair of pants to the next I move over Mr. Clippy as well.
In this small way I managed to get into work every day. The small price is people have to look at it at social gatherings on the weekend or in the evenings. Some people find this offensive. Last I checked there were no neo-nazi symbols on it. It just sits there quietly dangling off of my hip. I've seen greeting cards more offensive. Most greeting cards are more offensive. Well OK my photo is on it. So maybe those touching greeting cards that shrill out the tune, "Sometimes when we touch... the honesty..." is slightly less offensive than my face, but again I digress.
If you want to drive it to me at work on Monday morning at 8:00am or so, then and only then will I remove it and put it in my jacket or my car where I will forget it. How do I manage that? I have two cars, two jackets... I always manage to pick the wrong one for whatever reason.
So this morning when I moved my wallet from one pair of Old Navy blue jeans to the other I also moved my cash and my card key. My zippy clippy and low and behold I'm in the building.
I have a system.
It's my ID for work. I affectionately call it my zippy clippy. Which might somehow be related to laffy taffy, but not being hip I have no idea.
Why am I not hip? Apparently because what is dangling from my lack of hip is my work ID. Yes all the time. Is it dorky? Yes. There is, however, a reason behind my geekyness.
If I wear it, I don't forget it. Then I don't end up doing a huge cartman imitation in the parking garage in the morning. God damnit you bastard mutherfuckerzipppygoddammmmclippy. Christ!
Then I have to call someone to let me in. Um thanks, Kurt. Then they have to listen to my further ranting. Sorry, Kurt.
The idea is to keep it with something I always have with me. I have my pants with me. All the time. Amazing. So when I move my wallet and my keys in the morning from one pair of pants to the next I move over Mr. Clippy as well.
In this small way I managed to get into work every day. The small price is people have to look at it at social gatherings on the weekend or in the evenings. Some people find this offensive. Last I checked there were no neo-nazi symbols on it. It just sits there quietly dangling off of my hip. I've seen greeting cards more offensive. Most greeting cards are more offensive. Well OK my photo is on it. So maybe those touching greeting cards that shrill out the tune, "Sometimes when we touch... the honesty..." is slightly less offensive than my face, but again I digress.
If you want to drive it to me at work on Monday morning at 8:00am or so, then and only then will I remove it and put it in my jacket or my car where I will forget it. How do I manage that? I have two cars, two jackets... I always manage to pick the wrong one for whatever reason.
So this morning when I moved my wallet from one pair of Old Navy blue jeans to the other I also moved my cash and my card key. My zippy clippy and low and behold I'm in the building.
I have a system.
posted by J.R. at 7:43 AM
3 Comments:
My hubby wears his out in public all too often and I find it embarrassing. I'm not interested in advertising our affiliation with our employer 24/7.
You could consider joining the wallet crowd. That is, those who do not display their badge properly per security regs at work but instead keep it hidden in their wallet all the time. Not security friendly, but you always have your wallet (one hopes) and it's more discreet outside of work.
Or, you could find one consistent place, other than your pants, in which to store Mr. zippy clippy. For me, this is the right outside pocket of my backpack. I always bring my backpack to work, so this is great. I just take off the badge as I exit the building and stick in in the aforementioned pocket. Others keep it in their car, which works if you always drive yourself in the same car (I vanpool).
The final option of course is continue advertising your affiliation to your employer 24/7. If that works for you, then why change?
Being called hubby would embarass me...
Not a problem - we'll just continue to point and laugh at the guy who can't remember to take his zippy clippy off for social occasions. :-D
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