OK go on... trick me.

So I took the kids out trick or treating and I left a bucked of "don't TP candy" on the porch that Sam labeled "Take one, please." Um yeah. Right. Kids got cold pretty fast and they got a respectable haul quickly so we headed home. So when I got back that particular bucket (Or in this case holiday shaped cauldron) had been flung into my shrubs and was empty. So OK no problem I have back up. I filled it up again and the kids answered the door a few times and we promptly ran out. My fault. I didn't explain the pace we needed to hold to make it last.

So I turned off the light. The jack-o-lantern looked pretty cool so I left it on. Couple more doorbell rings and I blew it out. Fucking kids. I'm OUT.

One more ring of the bell. I opened the door and said in a friendly voice, "Didn't you see the universal sign for 'we're out of candy?' as in the porch light was off?"

Teen girl: "Uh no." (Actually I'm being kind, the uh was more like uhhhhhhhhhh as if she were trying to decode the English I had just presented her with.)

Me: "OK so we're out."

Them: Blank stare. (I guess huffing glue in 9th grade is still in style.)

Me: "So..."

Them: More blank stare. (OK... maybe "D.A.R.E." isn't working.)

Me: "Do you have any eggs?"

Them: "No" (I didn't believe they could look more puzzled than before. They managed.)

Me: "Good" and I shut the door.

Max goes after I shut the door. "Maybe we should turn off *all* the lights."

Me: "Yeah..."