he even looks like Ivar

out of context

Stuff that has come out of my mouth:

"That's what we call a statistic."

"fan-fucking-tastic"

"Ha! Ah!... Well *I* think it's funny..."

and last but certainly not least:

"oh... I'm sorry to hear that... well don't touch yourself then." Closely followed by, "Tell him not to touch his monkey, k?"

A story of a troubled employee

From HR's perspective this was an open and shut case. The employee in question was completely random, as if acts by him were completely chance. His communication skills were abysmal. People would talk to this employee all the time and he would never respond... ever. At random he would impose his "will" on other employees causing them harm and even blood shed and the occasional death. Why one time when ... well ok we don't know what motivated him as he doesn't ever communicate his status to other employees... he affected 3 entire sales regions in the south with what others described an unprecedented show of force. The guy is out of control. Yet a set of the other employees sing his praises almost weekly. They even talk to him and ask him for help even when he's not in the room. They call themselves "believers" and often try and convince the others to believe. In some extreme cases when those others would not believe the believers claiming they were doing the will of the subject of this report would actually kill the ones they were trying to convince.

HR has no choice but to terminate the position held by "god".

Welcome... Dariy Farmers of the World

Nice to see Darigold stopping by for 15 pages of Backtalk...

Hope you enjoy... I sure enjoy milk.

OK fine I'm back to blogging...

i won't be blogging for a while

So don't worry, K?

I just don't feel like it.

some days...

Some days you just want to feel pain. I tell you there are legal safe and even in this case free ways of experiencing pain without any danger...

I got my ink redone on my back. Man did it hurt.

some connundrums

can't be solved.

slept...

I got home from work and I'm so sick I slept for almost 2 hours... Thats what you do I guess.

aye jaye easter

aye jaye outdoes alex

alex breaks in a new drain

recap? update?

Disney was really fun. There are parts I could blog, but I'm not goona.

From there I dropped off the kids to go to Cincinnati. I gave up 1/4 of my vacation with them, I won't do that again. I could blog why, but I not gonna.

I came up to Burbank to hang with Aye Jaye and stayed at the Ramada. I had booked it through Expedia. It was supposed to have internet in the room and didn't really. The staff just blew me off. So I called Expedia the next day and they kicked ass. They told me that I could get out but have to pay for the one night. I said no problem. They actually gave me a full refund. It wasn't that bad. I moved to really swank one for not much more money. Using Expedia was a real win.

When I finished moving I went to Aye Jaye's and in true Aye Jaye fasion I found myself learning a new game (Bocce ball) in his lawn, shovelling manure, and even rotating tires. I shit you not. I met this guy Alex who is very handy and he and I did a bunch of stuff and we played Bocce. It's really fun, tommorrow I'm gonna buy a set.

Aye Jaye rocks. He took us to the Magic Castle where we mainly saw Dave Cox comedy magicial kick fucking ass despite a cold. Cox was just fantastic. I've never seen a better bill in lemon and his Evil Hypnotizing Monkey was just killer. (Comedy is so violent)

Home to the swank kinda late where I slept in.

This morning I woke up late and headed off to Bocce and breakfast with Aye Jaye. I lost a lot. The day before I was doing really well, but I kept saying it was beginer's luck. It was. I got my ass lit up this morning. I loved every minute of it. I plan on getting a set tomorrow.

10:30 am tomorrow is Bocce Ball in the morning...

my crew

day two?

disneyland... begins

we going to disneyland...

ow

bander eats a pancake in one bite...

Heard on a podcast

Don't be afraid of being wrong. Be afraid of being quiet. --Penn Jillette

Lost in translation

I'm watching Lost in Translation again over a few evenings. I see it in a whole new light now. I haven't seen it for over a year and that's been a long year. Event filled. Now when I see that movie it's much deeper and I notice more about it than I ever did before. The way their eyes move. I get more of a sense of what he's thinking. I remember really liking the cinematography last time this time it's more the direction and the acting.

I see things differently now.

I see things.





No not dead people... sorry.

it's not really an oxymoron

I think it should be.

Ham Salad

I want to go on record so that I'm a little more accountable that I'm cutting my red meat consumption to one day a week. It's a not a code or a rule, more of a guideline. If I miss it one week it doesn't carry over.

I'm not doing this for animal rights. I won't comment on how I feel about animal rights not because I don't think they don't have them but rather it's irrelevent in my choice to make this change in my diet.

My reason is purely health. I like me. I'd like to stay me. I'd like to stay me for a long time. I think the cholesterol needs to come down and it's better to do it before the physical (in about june) rather than after...

Flashback: The best nap I ever had

Last Saturday I had one of the best naps I've ever had. It got me to even think if there was a better nap in my past. I'm not sure which one is better but I have my top two picked out. Can you tell I don't take many naps? I mean I'm not counting when I'm sick. Screw that. These are healthy times during the day when I took to sleeping...

I was in college for the other one. This guy I knew from High school named David. I don't recall his last name. He lived in my monster dorm with me and he was a ROTC navy guy so he kinda stood out in my party oriented campus. We lived in Morrill tower which as I just mentioned was a big fuck off dorm. Big. 20 some odd floors just stuffed with college kids doing all sorts of random things all the time. Oh I could go on... I shan't.

It was a Sunday in the spring and I ran into him in the lobby. He liked to drive. I knew that from high school. At walnut he was really into drawing very right wing political cartoons which I thought was a little odd and I'm afraid his drawings made south park look like a new wave of impressionistic genius on the horizon. They were occasionally funny but mostly they came from a place of Reagan era fear of the Russians. Still he liked to drive.

Now you'd think a guy as a freshman in college who liked to drive would have something cool. A celica? no. A trans-am (is that hyphenated?) no... He had a volvo station wagon his mom gave him.

So in the lobby I said something akin to "hey David" he said he was gonna go drive around did I want to go? Well considering that's exactly what we did in High school sounded like fun. I mean come on you know the conversation: "what do you wanna do?" "I dunno let's drive over to Hyde Park.. OK" at Hyde Park, "OK now what?"... "I dunno how about we go out to kenwood?" and so it went like that again and again here and there. Hey WTF? Gas was cheap. I mean really cheap. Can you remember less than a buck for a whole fuck off gallon?

So I said sure. I didn't realize he meant he wanted to drive to other cities. Still we got some fast food and I looked for women in the passing cars. No avail. I remember something he said that was just so so wrong. I said, "Hey slow down there there were some chicks in that car." he replied "I never slow down for chicks, I might speed up for them..." He didn't get much action from the ladies back then...I'm thinking.

So no ladies... fast food heavy on my gut... I must have gotten a touch bored or I was really fucking tired. He was out on the highway and I woke up in a little town way outside Columbus known as Circleville (no you can't make this shit up) I was a bit startled that our drive had taken us so far. I must have been out for a while. He had let me sleep in the car. I was very well rested and we headed back into columbus. We got some dinner at some other fast food restaurant and then moved on with our lives.

I'm not sure I ever really saw him again... I can remember his cartoons from the Walnut book room and I remember that drive. I don't remember his last name, but I hope he learned to slow down...