can you tell?

That i'm not blogging lately?

don't worry...

retainer

Re-tainer

RE-TAIN-ER

Your situation... for you. Would be greatly improved if this giant FUCKING piece of plastic was the hell out of my god damn muther fucking mouth. People. Yes it glows in the dark, yes it's freaky and shit, yes it pisses me offffffff.

re-TAIN-er

if I had 165.00 in my pocket I might run this one over with my car just to make the orthodontist make the fucking thing again... um no.

end of story

I got my braces off. Yes huge buildup... No real blog for it because I'm still waiting to see What the fuck else they have to do. It was not a good time. I actually puked in a dentist chair. Pathetic.

I have a little hobby...

It's not an art or a craft. I didn't go to a college of arts and crafts no no. This is engineering people. This is a serious hobby. It's kind of a survey. It's not a collection because to have a collection you actually have to get up off of your ass and collect something. This I am not doing. Nope. I just look at what it is I collect. See it's easy because to look requires the most minimal of efforts. All I have to do is have my eyes open. Coincidentally I do this when I'm driving and only when I'm driving. OK maybe I do it when I'm going through the parking lot of the mall but that's it. It's not like I have a jesus fish problem. I can quit whenever I want. I can control my jesus fish glance collection.

I've seen all kinds. Fish with feet. Fish with greek. Fish fucking other fish but oh I do get ahead of myself.

Mostly you have your basic jesus fish that has no adornment. This is the classic hey, "hey I'm into jesus enough to put a stupid looking piece of metal on my car." kinda thing.

I've seen some good ones. I like the Darwin of course. I do like how the lines of this battle are drawn in my mind incorrectly. Clearly some will say if you have Darwin you can't have jesus. Like saying if you are gonna have the fat burger you can't also have the double fat burger with bacon. I mean yes I believe there is no god (and therefore jesus wasn't god, but he probably was a guy who didn't really think killing each other was such a good idea, but he was "OK" with bacon.) but I actually don't see the mutual exclusion. I mean if you were really hungry you could have both a fat burger and a double fatburger with cheese, bacon and a fried egg.

Speaking of food. I love the jesus fish that has "& chips" in the both of the thing. Tasty and likely offends someone. Yah! Two fish with one hook. (Yes that is a mixed metaphor, wait no it's not.)

So I saw one that made me laugh so hard I wrecked my car and we all died. Not really I made the wreck/die part up. It was a VW fish (yes I had never seen a VW fish at all before this back of this Golf on 405. You know how I feel about labeling your car again on the back, but let's let that one slide, k? The VW fish had a little friend. It was a Honda fish. I'm so sure either car manufacturing corporation would just send out some pretty hard core cease and desist letters if they see these things on the street. So the little friend was getting fucked something serious on the back of this golf. So OK... You got a vw driver who actually puts a HONDA fish getting FUCKED by a VW fish on the back of his car. Yes it was a guy. Women are not that stupid. They just aren't.

Where is the ford fish getting buggered by the chevy fish? No they just Calvin pissing on the other one on the backs of their car... No jesus fish fucking one another. Here's a little biology note: I don't think fish fuck. I think they... Yeah OK never mind it isn't even funny.

Then this war of the peaceful jesus/Darwin fish gets taken up a notch... Now we have Darwin fish being eaten by the greek fish. Violent. Right there. The jesus fish stepped over the line and killed the poor little fish with feet. Killed. So we stipulate that jesus probably didn't want killin'. Right? And yet the only fish I've seen doing any killin is the jesus fish... not the Darwin fish, he was just evolving. jesus fish... kills the other fish.

OK so the VW fish had his way with the Honda fish, but I think it was consenting.

What's my favorite fish? It had fins and flames come out the back and looked more like a rocket than a fish and said the "Science" in the middle of it.

Count down...

On Tuesday... It will happen... I will enter a new phase of my revisit of adolescence...

in two days I will have an object lots of teenagers have but hate... Lose and have to pay for...

a retainer.

despite recent public polls

I am not creepy...

So look for my cafe press store so you can get this and other clever t-shirts soon.

Yes Deonn, you may comment.

I went to a seminar yesterday.

One thing I learned very early was something I already knew...

I think coffee smells bad. Esp cheap coffee...

seminar water...

the redesign is coming...

Yes I'm much closer to my redesign project that I have been in a long time. You'll see me go to a very generic template and from there bring back my "all consuming" feature I might add 43 things or even 43 people to it. I might also upgrade my counter/stat taker so I can be even more of a stalker. It's like reverse stalking? You have to come to me. It's lazy boy stalking. Yes it's Lazy boy and the recliner!

With the blogger bar you'll be able to search my blog for such winners as HOLL-EEE_WOOD etc.

I will have my geocaching stats (and a link to my geocaching member page)

I want to also have a link to a map that shows my finds as pushpins...

So when? I dunno. Stay tuned. And you you're reading this through an rss feed and I'm not getting credit for the hit, well shame on you. Nobody likes an rss reader type person. So there.

for the record... again

my name isn't Jeff-er-eeee...

more crazy food porn

When I include the word "porn" in my blog, I get more hits... funny that.

Check this out:


Gina and I made this. Well mostly Gina. She got the recipe from some magazine. It looked good and it ate even better... Everybody went home happy...

food porn lunch

Jokes on moi

OK so everybody has those big ass rubber bands around their wrists that say something. Something nice... Something sweet... Something cool...

I was in Archie McFee's the other day with Aye Jaye. He was convulsing on the floor with novelty overjoy (which is a special kaniption when found just that perfect rubber dog shit or fake vommit) When I spotted their version of these big ass ruber bands. I got a few. I got matching "irony" ones for Gina & Darren. One of them had a word I didn't know on it. I still don't know it and I'm not going to say it because one of you ass-whipe-just-like-me-sarcastic readers will fucking tell me what it means. I don't know. It can't be good. I show it to people and they laugh really hard and I just act like I know what it means and they say, "Where did you get that?"

So I'm wearing something really negative I think. People laugh at me. I have no idea what it means. I totally played a joke on myself... If you see me... don't fuck it up K?

New URL

I added a domain just for my blog. The blog is still in the same place and the same URL, but now you can also use: http://www.JRBlogs.com so it's easier to remember or to type in.

In truth I did it because I want to put it on my cards and well the one in your address bar right now, "www.ballvase.com/jhughson/backtack/blogger.htm" sucks.

I do believe in not breaking links so the other one is just an add on.

we now return you to your regular crazy surfing...

aye jaye's acres of clams...

caption this photo...

aye jaye as the troll talker.

Aye Jaye good.. Are Vee bad

Aye Jaye and I are having a blast. We had brunch with Tom on Sunday, then we went to Archie McFee's and Aye Jaye convulsed on the ground until they gave him a wholesale catalog and a contact number for the main office.

We dropped some stuff off with Gina & Daren which included matching "Irony" bracelets.

Then I learned to clean and eat dungess crab. I think Aye Jaye would have killed them himself because he kept crying over the fact that they were so fresh (um yes I explained about sequim and the spit and all) and he can't get them like that where he lives.

We played Bocce in the neighbor's yard. I won oddly enough.

We met Deonn for a movie. We chose RV. Why? Well it has Robin in it. And hey just seeing him in a movie is good right?

Um no. Did you know that you can get your money back if a movie sucks? I did. So I did. We walked out and got the money back... Do not under any circumstances see this movie. Avert your eyes. Change the channel walk out and get your $$'s back if you accidentally went in there on a tip from an errant nun. K?

Yesterday Aye Jaye went around with an old friend of his and I worked. Then Aye Jaye went to Puyallop (spelling? don't know don't care.) for sushi. Probably the most dangerous thing that crazy mutherfucking carney has ever done in his life and he doesn't even know it. OK apparently the sushi was just fine.

I have to take him to the airport today so life should resume it's normal non Aye Jaye pace... He can walk a long time by the way... I'm tired....