guess who's back?

Do not fuck with shecky because shecky will fuck you up. I know I just mixed quotes..

OK I wanted to post, I really did.

server shakey...

As you might have noticed I was gone for a bit. Hopefully I'm back now... Should be all fixed and if you can read this, publishing works.

update:trying again...

Ferry Ride of Apathy...

We weren't apathetic. Noooo...

OK so first off there is all this street parking near the ferry terminals to Bainbridge and Bremerton. I was all stoked because cool all these spots. So I go to pay for them and there was a max time on them for 2 hours. We were going to have lunch at the streamliner diner and 2 hours was not going to cut it. I moved the car to the battle ship of urine breaking up through the pavement parking garage. Catchy name, huh? Part of the name is because it's built into a hill and it comes to a point to it looks like the bow of a ship sticking up out of the ground. The urine part comes from well... all the urine in it which as you might imagine has a bit of an odor.

So we walked on the ferry and took some photos. We walked up to the diner and had some awesometastic sandwiches. I had a crazy not good for me bacon avocado lettuce tomato cream cheese garlic (no I'm not making that up) thing with a salad. Jen had the tuna croissant from hell. It was all great.

Walked around and got back on the ferry to go back. Yes by that description it sounds like the 2 hours of parking would have been enough, but no.

On the way back I went into the head. (That's ship talk for bathroom.) OK I'm ok with the stand alone variety of urinal and the big long communal trough of piss that you see, but no urinal should be just long enough for you and your best friend to take a pee together. OK well no public urinal should be. These were short troughs with little walls to the side that would fit two guys (not being sexist. Ladies, if you wanna try, go for it.) That's just weird. It's like the love seat of urinals. I got over it.

So we're riding up front in the little chairs and a little message in the blogger to Phoenix's dad: DUDE YOU CHILD IS TOO YOUNG TO GO ANYWHERE ON THE FERRY BY HIMSELF LET ALONG OUTSIDE YOU JACKASS MUTHERFUCKER!

While we're sitting there the loud speaker comes on. I can't do this justice in text, but I'll give it a shot. Muster up the most apathy you can. I know that's oxymoronic, but give it a shot. Now say, "This is a drill"... HUGE SIGH... "Just a drill..." (now more Epstein Barr and boredom in your voice) "car fire... main deck section 3"... (more tired now) "If you aren't familiar with abandon ship on this vessel" (OK hold on a sec here. How many times has this vessel been abandoned? Oh honey I'm not sure how to abandon this particular ferry let's listen!)

"If you aren't familiar with the abandon ship on this vessel... now might be a good time to check it out." Check it out? Like the latest band? "Find one of the two passenger assembly stations" (Note he doesn't say where. We happen to be sitting right at one.) "...passenger assembly stations where you will find a sailor." He ends right there and I'm laughing so hard I thought my eyes were gonna fall out.

There was no sailor. We looked, no sailor. Maybe he was at a urinal built for two...

Just when you thought...

I wasn't gonna post.

Few things. Tom: You're welcome, dude. And fucking call me if you have questions. Don't know what I'm talking about? Click here to find out.

Yesterday I was getting some Indian food take out. I was alone. I might have eaten in Tandori fire, but the place was crowded and I didn't have a book. So while I waited I was just aware of myself. Not for too long. Just like when you're made aware of something just in the edge of your vision. All of a sudden I was very aware of myself. I had a full sense of who I was, what I was doing and where I was going. It was very pleasnt.

Ah vacation

I'm taking next week off. I'm taking a 1/2 day tomorrow. I can't wait. I'm not sure how much posting I'll be able to do. So you know, I'm not dead or depressed or anything like that. K? OK go back to your regular lives...oh right, sorry.

Traffic today

Traffic today was stop and slow. It's just rain people. You saw it earlier in the year.

Stupid bumper Sticker: It was likely something like, "please rear end me because I need the money from frivolous law suits."

Also people if you want the US to free Tibet, then find some fucking oil there. Otherwise our government isn't interested.

Netflix Cranky

OK I live really close to a netflix depot or what have you. Yesterday they sent me email telling me to expect my next "house md" disc today. It's not here and I'm fucking cranky because of it. I mean seriously people. I liked it better when they always would say like "for Friday" and I'd get it Thursday. Good times. I opened the mailbox today hoping for my dose of amazingly terse humor and no. Dashed. Fuckers.

Update: As I was publishing this Netflix sent me an email. It says "For Wednesdsay..." whatever. You lied once. You can go fuck yourself.

Harsh? yes.

Shout outs

Shout out to Melanie for the extra hits boostin' my count. Yes I'm just that weird.

Also to whoever it is who uses verizon and hits it all the time I thank you for the visits. I don't know who you are, but if you want to drop me a line I'd love to find out.

Thank you for your support.

More search terms

OK these are funny.

I got a hit just now for, "where did the phrase buck naked come from?"
and even better just before that I got one for, "fuck terrorism" I'm on page TWO of the google results for this one, people. Me? Moi? Aren't there more people out there fucking terrorists than little ol liberal me? I mean really...

Nobody would surrender to the dread pirate Wesley

I spent most of yesterday watching movies. Sam and I went out and got a bday present for one of her classmates. By the way I hate the whole kid bday party thing. I don't mind the celebration, cake is good. Ice cream? Well I'm really cutting back on cholesterol so I skipped that part on Saturday (shout outs to Alex for a great BBQ), but the whole buy a gift and get a goody bag. Is it me or is it true that nothing really good comes in a goody bag? I mean OK the last time I got one it had dental floss in it. OK so it came from the dentist's office. I digress.

While in Fred Meyer (Which for those of you in the east is really just a big ass Krogers/K-Mart mixed together.) we picked up a copy of holes.

It's a great book and good movie. If you haven't read or seen it, I suggest watching the movie first and then reading the book. The book is always better. Always.

I also watched the princess bride. Twice We have the new fancy ass Dread Pirate Roberts edition. We had bought the regular DVD on sale for like $4 at best buy, but it didn't work. So we had to take it back. At least they credited us with the $4 when we bought the $20 Dread Pirate Roberts edition. There is another buttercup version, and we had a vote and Sam lost (hey it's 2 boys and poor Sam...) so we got the Dread Pirate Roberts version. The only difference as far as I can tell, but I haven't popped in disk 2 yet.

I watched it again after they went to bed. I listened to the director's commentary by Meathead. Sorry, I know I watched way too much All in the Family as a child. He will always be Meathead to me. (Luckily I think that's the only thing that rubbed off on me from Archie! Whew.) It was pleasant and enjoyable some directors do not have what it takes to deliver a commentary and not sound like an a-hole. I'm sure that's because they are in fact a-holes, but who am I to judge. I've never taken 17 Million dollars and turned it into anything. Let alone the most quoted movie ever made.

OK off to the fire swamp now...

Multiple Choice

Which of the following did J.R. not do in the last 24 hours:

a. Listen to pink floyd in the dark with no chemical "help".
b. Scratch his own back with a plastic fork.
c. Sleep on the couch just for old time's sake.
d. none of the above...

I do believe I cut myself

Yes I mean that literally and it's not that bad, but night before last I fucked up with my big ass chef's knife and cut my finger. I won't post photos. I was really angry. Not at the knife, but at myself. Strangely I was angry because I had gotten the notion that I wouldn't be able to finish making my dinner. Sam was freaking out, as to be expected and at least one memorable quote from her was, "It's ok daddy, I've heard that word before." Sam was a trooper. She helped me out a lot. Max also helped and even paused his XBox game briefly to get me more band-aids.

No I didn't need a stitch. Phew.

It did hurt and it hurt to type all day yesterday. (There is a veiled excuse as to why I haven't blogged in there somewhere.)

I do in fact have a point. I know I haven't gotten to it yet.

I've been trying to examine things that I've grown to believe about myself and try to decide if they are true or not. One thing I had picked up along the way was that I wasn't very smart in a common sense way. That is to say I was incompetent at some things. I have some theories as to how I arrived at such conclusions, but they are not the point of this post either. One of them was, "I'm clumsy and shouldn't be around sharp things."

Let's take the day I cut myself as an example. I did a way overdue and nasty chore around the house (I will also spare you those details) and I managed to scrape and pinch my little finger on my left hand quite harshly. I did get the job done, but at a very teeny loss of blood. Then came the above mentioned kitchen knife fuck up. So While there are certainly some that aren't true, I'm starting to think that one might be true. I won't stop cutting up onions. In fact I went back and finished cooking dinner. I won't, however, being going out and getting the latest De-Walt chop saw for my collection.

Shaved....

Yeah I took off the beard this morning. I would take a photo, but I'm not.

I've already decided to grow it back. I like it.

My phone...

camera sucks... For the record. I mean the phone is great and all. After I dropped the other one in the dogs's water this phone rocks. I mean when someone calls and I hit the green button it actually connects and then I talk to them.

So the photos are way washed out and gross. Life goes on. Oh bla di oh bla dah...

Consolation: A years supply of Rice-A-Roni

I like to look at who reads this. I do it's kinda nutty, but I look often. I know who some of you are and some not so much. There is one in particular that I don't know, but I'm trying to figure out. I digress.

I mentioned Rice-A-Roni and now I'm google's #2 for the search string:

years supply of rice a roni

number two? Two? Not one? Please click. Click my link. Make google think I am the one stop for a years supply of Rice-A-Roni k?

I want to be #1 for a years supply of Rice-A-Roni. I do I need to be first on google's results for a years supply of Rice-A-Roni... k?

Click.. Go on Click. I should offer you a free Years supply of Rice-A-Roni, but I'm not going to offer you A Years supply of Rice-A-Roni. Nope.

Thanks.