Five things you might not know about me.

I say might because I dunno who you are. Maybe you are some all seeing all knowing ghost of new years past present and future. You might already know these things. One things for sure: since I don't know who you are, I don't know five things about you.

I got this meme off of Marc Orchant. I'm really just being lame because I can't think of anything else to write. At all.

1. When I'm alone I talk to myself. Sometimes when I'm with other people I talk to myself. Sometimes they think I'm talking to them. I rarely correct them.

2. I can't sing, dance, or draw well. And by, "well" I mean, "at all."

3. When I was younger I used to watch football a lot. I recently started again.

4. I used to be a total Mac guy. Yes when I sell out, I sell out all the way.

5. I sometimes like to crank up dance music (Groove Armada) and read math journals in the tub.

Holiday Update

Some fun facts about my holiday so far:

1. The Good Shepard (a movie with Matt Damon about the forming of the CIA) is bad. Not good. I've heard it's gotten good reviews. Lies. No reason to like a single character in the whole god damn thing. Someone dies... so what? Who cares? Also the pacing (Yes, Virginia, the director let it run 3 hours) was rea....lly.... v....e....r....y....s...l...o...w Save your money.

2. Chinese restaurants are in fact open on 12/25. Well OK some of them. One was open. Woo Hoo we had Chinese food on Christmas day. I laughed the whole time.

3. Ham is yummy.

4. With a little quick thinking and a bow in your pocket you can make anyone believe you actually thought ahead and got them a present. Call it sleight of ribbon.

5. Kids love toys.

6. I am a kid somewhere/somehow still.

7. If you twist your ankle it hurts.

8. Even just the tiniest amount of alcohol makes it not possible for me to play pool.

9. Even against David Bander.

10. When work is dead, I blog.

Merry Christmas

Yes I'm up at 2:00am... again.

David Bander: No I didn't think that was funny.

One surprise

This year the kids really know what they are getting... mostly. They got the big gift already (2 nintendo DS's) and I told them this year there would be no notes. By notes I mean clues that they run around the house decoding to find the next clue til finally it leads them to the garage for the big ass present (tm). I told them because of the DS's no notes and no big gift

I lied. Halfway. I couldn't resist doing the notes. This time they are hard. I actually put an easy cipher on one of them. They don't have to do much to decode it just find a keyboard (I even drew one on the piece of paper) and shift everything to the left. I didn't even let anything roll around to the other side. It should be pretty easy. I'm going to time them (without them knowing) so I can make next year harder...

Well I'm off to bed. I have a surprise waiting for me. Just one really. But I'm sure it'll be great. Thanks to Jen.

The new form of "time out" when one hits 12

My son has finally gotten immune to the time out. Resting in his bed for up to an hour has no effect on him. He was snotty this morning after getting a time out letting me know in no uncertain terms he was not phased by it in the least.

Now we work for dad when we're in trouble. In this case for 3 hours...

He's cleaning my toilet as I write this.

I imagine he won't scoff at any consequence I give him for a good long time.

Do not fuck with shecky. Shecky will fuck you up.

Mopping Sweeping and Vacuuming... Oh My

We're cleaning today. I guess I hit my scuzz factor in the house because we even cleaned out the closet under the stairs.

Like three runs of the dishwasher. The dog dishes are currently in there getting cleaned.

Why am I telling you this? I dunno, why are you reading it?

This just in...

Interesting fact: French's yellow mustard has no food value what-so-ever.

As much as I wish it were not true...

I can't take curry at any level other than super mild. Hence the timestamp on this post.

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday Jen! Here's to another great year together.

It's the little shiny things...

So I was driving home last night and I had a stop to make. I thought the stop would take me fifteen minutes to get to and I was due there at about five. So I left at quarter til. I'm sure you've heard about the whole wind-power-cable-gone kinda thing. I thought Redmond was all back. Um no. A small part of it was still out. To the tune of three stoplights. Three. Not one not two, but three. I was on that road between those lights for over an hour.

I hate being late, but it's kinda the thing. It's amazing how bad missing 3 lights can mess up the whole area. We take for granted the red/green/yellow rinse and repeat sequence, but it's really very important.

I'm glad I'm not a traffic engineer. And, oh yes, the number five is right out.

Misshapen Physics Problem.

George Carlin said that when we drive we try to get in our big iron things, sometimes with loved ones, and sometimes they are big plastic things (in the case of Saturn) and try and get from point A to point B without changing the shape of the big iron thing.

In ones house it's a big wood thing and we hope it's shape stays the same. Even the word maintenance has this idea baked right in. Maintain. Keep the same. Do not allow to change. Enter the windstorm that knocked out power to the area (not me) for days this last week.

Enter also some particular evergreen tree. (We are the evergreen state. No it doesn't keep me up at night.) Add the wind to the tree subtract the branch from the tree and add to it a fairly large vector toward the house. The roof in particular. The roof over the garage. Take the intersection of those two things in the 3-5 inch cross section and in concert with the conservation of energy. The kinetic energy of said branch applied to the structure of my shingles and the wood under the shingles and to the branch itself and what do you have?

A call to State Farm...

Power back

I was never really out of power. My house isn't quite in the same shape as it was last time I blogged, but what are you gonna do?

I'll have some photos later. Also I had a hellacious shopping trip today with kids in tow... It's truly the stuff nightmares are made of.

It wasn't at all like sea world.

When Tom Clancy wrote about stealth fighter pilots he said that those pilots referred to pilots and planes without stealth technology as baby seals. Because they would just sneak up on them and bam...

Last night at the weekly pool gathering my opponent was a six foot six baby seal. I was feeling like I was gonna get sick. Starting a fever, few aches. You know the drill. So I just wanted to go home. I didn't want to give the team a bye for my games though so I drank some OJ and they put me up.

Dude was tall. This is an advantage because you can reach everywhere on the table, but he didn't know how to hold the stick. When I saw his first shot I really relaxed. Proably too much, but what are you gonna do. Just club, 'em.

When I was crazy....(an accidental poem)

When I was crazy and could barely keep it together, cleaning my house kept me sane.

Now I'm happy and cleaning my house is a pain.

Am I in reverse?

So I haven't had a lot of "do" time lately. I've had two straight days of training. They were great days and I learned a lot, but they take their toll. I feel like I'm in a giant vat of cornstarch and water. (Yes that does paint a picture, doesn't it?) I know I'm big into getting things done, but I haven't even really been able to answer any emails that require more than a 2 line response. I have a few queued up for tomorrow.

So last night we bought the tree. I flubbed dinner and we had frozen pizza. Tonight I vowed to cook. I cooked a nice chicken and pasta with marinara sauce. I didn't manage to get the tree put up. I tried. I might manage to get the base on it tonight, but I can't carry it in. At least I fed the kids a good meal. I also managed to get the kitchen almost totally clean... Oh crap I should finish that. Fuck it.

I guess I'm trying to say it's been a struggle these last couple of days. Tomorrow? I have pool and thus a break, but also nothing will get done. Thursday? I'm kicking ass and taking names. Somebodystopme....

Nightmare on my Street

This was a double.

1. Disobedient children endanger themselves.
2. Idiot parent (me) endanger children.

Yes, there was water involved.

A little bit more than I could chew

Actually if you think about that phrase "more than one could chew" then someone has to be spitting something out. Or choking which when doesn't end tragically ends in some type of expelling of that which one was intending to chew onto the floor or someone at the next table over's white silk tie. One of the two.

I could actually chew it. Of course I'm speaking completely metaphorically and cryptically as I haven't even alluded to what I'm talking about. I took a bike ride. There it is out on the table for your figurative enjoyment. Well OK maybe you do in fact literally enjoy that I said that, but there is much doubt in my mind at this point.

I rode up a big hill. Again big deal. It was for me. Apparently I almost couldn't chew it. It took a long time to climb it, but I did and I never walked. I really wanted to walk, but no. I stayed on the bike the whole time. Did I stop? Fuck yes, mutherfucker I fucking stopped. (Sorry I was falling behind on the f's per line, gotta keep up the vulgarity.) Did I rest? See above f's.

Today I took the dogs to the park and really put a bunch of miles on them. Timber tried to swim I think, but I yelled at him to get out of the water and he did. That shit is cold, yo and I don't want to have to jump in after his k-9 ass.

OK that's it. That and I watched a shit load of TV on Friday as I wasn't feeling good. Then on Saturday I cleaned. House is kinda sorta maybe a little clean now. Including the bathrooms... woohoo.

Boring? yes. More than you could chew? Nope... Unless you just expelled in which case... Well I'm not sorry, but I did warn you.

Cylon Groceries...

OK so I was cleaning today. I also shopped. I feel pretty good about the amount of output I had today considering yesterday my major goal (which I accomplished) was to finish up all my TV DVD's. This had the unfortunate side effect of me barking out at random in the Safeway, "She's a Cylon!"

To make up for my random accusations of Cylonians I donated some food to the food bank. Of course I think the students working the food bank... yup... cylons, every one of them. I gave them peanut butter (it was on their list) to gum up the works. I gotta do my part for humanity. We keep fighting them til we can't. Cylon!

It's just water

But lots of it streaming down in a warm state over one feels just so good.

Yes a shower. A very long hot shower.

Does a body good...

DPT

So when did whooping cough make a come back?

Max had to have his DPT the P stands for Whooping Cough. (Yes it's a medical thing, go watch House if that pisses you off) Also nothing sounds worse than "diptheria" I mean shit that sounds awful. I dunno what the symptoms are, but christ I don't want that. Tetnis, well you know... Lockjaw bad. Take the shot.

He's getting to be a teenager. He took the shot without even so much as a flinch.

He did get a shake.

pool report

No there are no drinks with umbrellas. It's not that kinda pool. It's the, "areallthosepeopledoingshotsofsomethinggreen?...ick" kinda place. A bar.

We thought we were playing a double header because of the snow last week. Sorta. We did do a make up match, but our opponent this week was a team named "bye" as in, "byeyoucanleaveearlyafteryouwatchedusdoourgreenshots."

Yeah so I won. Nothing spectacular, I just won. My rank is becoming clear. I am a 3. I am a strong 3 or a very weak 4. So I hope I stay a 3 for a while.

Mo came out and we had a blast talking about stuff. I was sorry he didn't get to watch us have a match, but those guys on the bye team just didn't show up...

D.A.R.E Graduation

My son graduated from DARE last night. It stands for Drug Abuse Resistance Education. I had mixed feelings about it. Don't misunderstand I'm proud of him for completing it. It was real work. I'm also proud of me for sitting through the essay "spoken word" portion of the show without gauging my eyes out with a small spoon.

I guess this is a good way to spend tax dollars. I mean it's better than running around busting pot heads and putting them in jail. I mean they don't do anything anyways, prision for a pothead (is that one word?) seems redundant.

I'm all for reducing the use of really bad drugs: Meth, H etc. I was a tad put off by the whole dare thing though until I listened to the core of it. It was about making intelligent choices as young adults and teens. I guess you can't really beat that. There was no religious overtones at all. I endorce that. Maybe education is better than swat teams with guns or any type of violence.

I dunno I'm just rambling.

Play Wii... didn't go boom

My new PM here is a great guy and he brought in his new game console for us to try.(notice I couldn't bring myself to say wii?)

The controllers are fun. It's really cool at work to say hey man hand me that nun-chuck. (I never thought the singular of that would make sense, but it does in the context of a wii.) Clearly not a serious game console box. The graphics kinda suck.

I drove. I boxed. I pulled glass out of a guys arm and stitched it up and added antibiotic ointment... Then I bandanged it wrong and was scolded by the nurse. (For a sec I thought that might have been the point since up til then I hadn't found one.) Then I bandaged it right. Scolding stopped... (So, not the point) You can't make this stuff up.

He should have bled more. That would have been cool.

Heros...

Yeah ok. Now I have to wait til fucking January.

Asshats.

NaCl: seed is a tree... work with me. But it's a rock.

Let us take a moment and pay our respects to salt. It's a rock. Halite is the mineral form of salt. I love salt. It tastes good. Makes things that don't taste so good taste better. I think it should be it's own food group. Rocks. Yeah you got your complex carbs and your meats and fish and let's not forget veges.(Do I get a new food credit?)

Salt is made up of Sodium and Chloride. Cl is the chemical notation for Chloride (I get that) and Na is for Sodium (There isn't an 'N' or and 'A' in that word. Yeah I'm at a loss here too.) either of which if you ate it would kill you.

I guess if you ate enough salt it would kill you, too. Whatever. It's yummy on fries and tortilla chips.

I'm sure someone right now while you are reading this (not while I'm writing it because nobody but me can read it right now as I'm typing it. Nope nobody in my office. Just me.) and maybe it's you. Is thinking salt is evil and blah High blah blah blood blah pressure blah blah. So sorry. I didn't draw that card. You may denounce salt in your blog. (OK, Fine! I will publish comments denouncing salt.)

I drew the cholesterol card. No butter. (I am considering another butter post, but I still think it's very yummy.) I didn't draw the high blood pressure card so sue me. Good thing we have tests for this shit or we wouldn't know what to denounce in our blogs.

Yes I am

Just this geeky.

That's my son. That's his birthday cake. One kid says, "hey do it binary."

What was I to do?



Besides I didn't have any 2's...

Feng shui

Definition: superstitious for clean.

Also a fortune cookie is just I-Ching with calories.

Jeans again...

OK so not only did I have my great day of training. There was a gathering in the bar of the W Hotel and they didn't say that David Allen was going to attend or not, but I thought it would be a good time to give feedback to the membership site owners. That being said the first staff member there was David and it was a very nice time where he got feedback from us over drinks and we discussed the ins and outs. Very fun. Few things make me nervous. I was nervous for about 5 minutes and then felt calm enough to let my twisted sense of humor though.

I asked, "If GTD were a werewolf when is the full moon?"

I got a reaction... heh.

I also got to confess that the first blog post I wrote about GTD was less than glowing. I would get you a link to it, it's out there, but I'm too lazy.