I want a new button.

Yes I want a new button on my phone. I don't care if everyone has them or just me. This button will do something unpleasant on the other end. I don't know what. Something. I just got a call and I didn't have time to check the ID because Jen is asleep and I didn't want it to wake her.

This was some charity. I won't name it. I don't really want any sort of google search of a charity I believe in principal to come to this post. Anyways. They want me to mail out letters from me to 13 (yes a bakers dozen) of my neighbors and friends and all it will cost me is postage.

Um NO.

Or wait... NO.

I could go with... NO.

NO.

I barely got out "not interested" as I hung up. It would be so cool if there was a button way beyond "I just fucking hung up on you, asshole." I hung up on you and your ass face company and this other unpleasant thing happened as well.

I know I haven't worked through the details such as what that unpleasantness would be but I'm sure this is how most brilliant inventions come about.

The desire to create unpleasantness. I mean somebody had to invent tele-donation-letter-writing calls. What premise did they start with. Oh I know. The desire to create unpleasantness. Yeah.