Derailed and not sucked up

Yesterday I blew up a vacuum (sounds like a Jimmy Buffet song, huh?) and I had to go get a new one. Yesterday I went to Sears and was over run by sales people. I got confused. They were talking fancy. So I went and looked at the jumbo trons, talk to my peeps on the phone and promptly left. From there I went to a vacuum store. Two U's? Really? That's some kind of fucked up. Did Ben Franklin have anything to do with this?

At the store devoted to Vacuums a very thin African man tried to sell a Vacuum while only 8 lbs was bigger than him. I felt really bad giving him the be back. You know the I'll say, "be back" to your face but what I really mean is jesus fuck, get the hell outta here. I'm just saying.

So then I went to consumer reports, dropped my $26.00 for a vote of confidence (that's a years worth of "oh shit that blew up, what do I buy?") and chose. Well OK I had a brief confab with someone I trust before going out and plunking down the change. I got it home and after hunting for the screw driver, (No not the orange juice kind) I got it together and ran it some. Wow it's much quieter than my death throws dirt devil was. Course to be fair that thing was in the process of throwing a belt and burning out all at once (a clever move even for a lesser demon of dog hair and dust.)

The best part of the process? When I threw my hands up and went and got ice cream with the kids. There isn't anything like fat calories to make the blues go away.

I suck? Nope, but this thing does. Not exactly what I wanted to get myself for my birthday, but what the fuck are you gonna do? (You didn't think I'd get through the post without mentioning my bday is tomorrow!)