cops on a plane
So yesterday involved a 6 hour delay.
2 hours for weather delay.
2 hours for crazy delay.
2 hours for after weather and crazy the FAA rules said our pilots too tired to fly so get new crew delay.
Is it me? I mean you can tell me. Is it me? She was right in front of me. As usual I'm getting ahead of myself.
Going to Chicago for vacation to see Jen. She is on a business trip here (I'm there now I realize this gives away the fact that the end of the story involves my arrival in chi-town. So be it.) When I get there the plane is delayed for weather. OK fine. Get some food. Hour later they say another hour. OK again fine. I don't want to crash so take your mutherfuckin' time.
Finally time to board. yes. Not a full flight. Still very happy. Still getting to Chicago at a reasonable time. Get out to the end of the runway. Now you have to realize that if you can't land you shouldn't take off. I mean take offs? optional. Landings? Required. So they pull us over and planes are taking off and we're sitting there waiting for ORD (Chicago O'Hare) to clear us. Lady in front of us asks us the time. I'm sitting there with Brook and he's a nice guy. Just come from a funeral. Sad. We tell her and she goes to the bathroom. Perfectly reasonable. Not stupid. Not crazy. Not yet.
She comes back with 2 flight attendants on her heels and they are not pleased. They tell her she can't behave like that on a plane. Huh? Brook and I are all like, "uh oh." She fires back, "well if you people hadn't lied to me!" flight attendants go to the back for flight attendant huddle.
Crazy rings the bell for the flight attendant. The breaks up the huddle. Crazy is still pissed off she's going to miss some dinner in New Orleans. Flight attendants don't play this shit. They are all "you can tell it to security we're going back to the gate."
Crazy is now transformed into crazypanicweepylady we will call her cpwl for short.
Cpwl is asking what she's charged with. She apparently has some experience dealing with this sort of thing but not enough to know that crazy/weepy isn't going to help. She rings for them again. They come back and say to cpwl, "you can't swear and scream and kick the door in the bathroom of a plane." (very calmly actually)
Cpwl is all "I was just crying. Can't I cry? I didn't kick anything."
Flight attendant, "you were beating and kicking on the door or the bulkhead and we're going to have you removed from the plane." This was senior flight attendant.
Sure as shit we turn around and go back to the gate and the cpwl all the way is crying and asking us to "stand up for her" I'm all like "look at the floor" Brook is answering direct questions only "Did I threaten you?" Brook responds, "no ma'am" he's a nice guy. Me? I'm all don't talk to me. Lady behind us passes cpwl a note. I wish Brook hadn't been such a nice guy and had opened it. He didn't. We like Brook. He's from Tacoma, but lives in Chicago with his wife. He's a programmer and very nice guy. She keeps trying to get the passengers around her to protect her and "stand up for her because she didn't do anything." I don't know about you but the last time I didn't do anything I didn't get my ass and the whole plane hauled back to the gate.
So the flight attendants tell her they aren't going to discuss it with her anymore. She's pleading with them not to charge her. Flight attendant senior asks her if she will get off the plane smoothly or will the police have to come on and remove her. Now a dude gate agent shows up to remove her from the plane. He is very polite and doesn't answer any of the pleading or crying. "Did you get all of your stuff, ma'am?" was pretty much all he said to her as they kicked her off.
The cops come on the plane and look around and talk to a couple of people. So I say quietly hey look cops on a plane. Well sir now security is involved and they have to sweep the plane. That means Brook (nice guy) and I have to get our sorry asses off the plane along with every other non crazy. Right then they come on the P.A. and tell us that the crew has to be swapped out because we were delayed too long. OK fine. Another 2 hours later 6:30 pm we were headed out to the runway with less passengers less baggage and we took off quick for a midnight arrival. They made some time up in the air. Brook and I had a nice talk. Did I mention he was a nice guy?
Oh and I had a bagel for lunch.
2 hours for weather delay.
2 hours for crazy delay.
2 hours for after weather and crazy the FAA rules said our pilots too tired to fly so get new crew delay.
Is it me? I mean you can tell me. Is it me? She was right in front of me. As usual I'm getting ahead of myself.
Going to Chicago for vacation to see Jen. She is on a business trip here (I'm there now I realize this gives away the fact that the end of the story involves my arrival in chi-town. So be it.) When I get there the plane is delayed for weather. OK fine. Get some food. Hour later they say another hour. OK again fine. I don't want to crash so take your mutherfuckin' time.
Finally time to board. yes. Not a full flight. Still very happy. Still getting to Chicago at a reasonable time. Get out to the end of the runway. Now you have to realize that if you can't land you shouldn't take off. I mean take offs? optional. Landings? Required. So they pull us over and planes are taking off and we're sitting there waiting for ORD (Chicago O'Hare) to clear us. Lady in front of us asks us the time. I'm sitting there with Brook and he's a nice guy. Just come from a funeral. Sad. We tell her and she goes to the bathroom. Perfectly reasonable. Not stupid. Not crazy. Not yet.
She comes back with 2 flight attendants on her heels and they are not pleased. They tell her she can't behave like that on a plane. Huh? Brook and I are all like, "uh oh." She fires back, "well if you people hadn't lied to me!" flight attendants go to the back for flight attendant huddle.
Crazy rings the bell for the flight attendant. The breaks up the huddle. Crazy is still pissed off she's going to miss some dinner in New Orleans. Flight attendants don't play this shit. They are all "you can tell it to security we're going back to the gate."
Crazy is now transformed into crazypanicweepylady we will call her cpwl for short.
Cpwl is asking what she's charged with. She apparently has some experience dealing with this sort of thing but not enough to know that crazy/weepy isn't going to help. She rings for them again. They come back and say to cpwl, "you can't swear and scream and kick the door in the bathroom of a plane." (very calmly actually)
Cpwl is all "I was just crying. Can't I cry? I didn't kick anything."
Flight attendant, "you were beating and kicking on the door or the bulkhead and we're going to have you removed from the plane." This was senior flight attendant.
Sure as shit we turn around and go back to the gate and the cpwl all the way is crying and asking us to "stand up for her" I'm all like "look at the floor" Brook is answering direct questions only "Did I threaten you?" Brook responds, "no ma'am" he's a nice guy. Me? I'm all don't talk to me. Lady behind us passes cpwl a note. I wish Brook hadn't been such a nice guy and had opened it. He didn't. We like Brook. He's from Tacoma, but lives in Chicago with his wife. He's a programmer and very nice guy. She keeps trying to get the passengers around her to protect her and "stand up for her because she didn't do anything." I don't know about you but the last time I didn't do anything I didn't get my ass and the whole plane hauled back to the gate.
So the flight attendants tell her they aren't going to discuss it with her anymore. She's pleading with them not to charge her. Flight attendant senior asks her if she will get off the plane smoothly or will the police have to come on and remove her. Now a dude gate agent shows up to remove her from the plane. He is very polite and doesn't answer any of the pleading or crying. "Did you get all of your stuff, ma'am?" was pretty much all he said to her as they kicked her off.
The cops come on the plane and look around and talk to a couple of people. So I say quietly hey look cops on a plane. Well sir now security is involved and they have to sweep the plane. That means Brook (nice guy) and I have to get our sorry asses off the plane along with every other non crazy. Right then they come on the P.A. and tell us that the crew has to be swapped out because we were delayed too long. OK fine. Another 2 hours later 6:30 pm we were headed out to the runway with less passengers less baggage and we took off quick for a midnight arrival. They made some time up in the air. Brook and I had a nice talk. Did I mention he was a nice guy?
Oh and I had a bagel for lunch.
posted by J.R. at 9:02 AM
2 Comments:
that is insane. one of those stories you hear but hasn't ever happened to anyone you know. crazy!
Wow. That makes me feel much better about my recent flights. Sorry to hear your horror story, though!
Post a Comment
<< Home